Hotpants
by sloanranger
My brother's got a new girlfriend, he brought her over last night,
Said, he thought I might like her, she's really very bright.
The spikes in her hair were lovely, a beautiful red and chartreuse.
I stared, he turned, shrugged and said, "I tried to leave - no use."
I addressed the girl and tried to pursue, polite, adroit conversation,
thinking one day, that she might, become a close relation.
"Those rings in your nose are fetching, but that one on your lip looks sore."
I asked her: "Is that thing catching?" She said, 'Nah, not anymore.'
I decided by then to take things in hand, there was nothing else to be done;
my brother would never take a stand and the girl thought her hand was won.
"Would you like something to drink?" I said. "I have soda, coffee and tea."
'Anything stronger, I can stay longer?' She said, winking at me.
"What did you say your name was?" I said, looking at her attire.
'Didn't, but I'm called Hotpants, on account, Ima real live wire.'
I changed my plan, now understand, I couldn't let her stay;
and my poor brother, was all a dither, did not know what to say.
Pursued a new course of action then, decided to take a chance,
"About that drink, I have all the J's," she looked at me askance.
"Jim, Jameson's, Jack and Jose, which do you prefer?"
Her face lit up, "I'll take Jose," her voice was like a purr.
My brother got more depressed as the evening wore on.
Hotpants had got him very stressed and the worst was yet to come.
She finally sidled over to me, barely able to stand,
"Ever thought about something other, than being with a man?"
"That's It!" My brother jumped up.
"Hotpants, I've took all I can."
"I can explain the hair, the studs and the shorts,
but - Sis? Mom won't understand."
