Posthaste Hereforeto
by sloanranger
Have you gone and got into the gin?
Oh, you're there in the closet, again.
You'd better come out,
don't you dare pout
and don't make me have to come in.
Get out from under that bed,
stay there on top like I said.
You don't like chiding
so why are you hiding?
Now stop that - quit playing dead!
And get right down from that tree,
I'm very at home in the leaves.
I'm such a good climber,
near monkey mimer,
It's really no problem for me.
You really needn't have bothered
to go so far out in the water.
I know how to swim,
I'll dive right in -
and speedos, I'll not take for barter.
And no, you can't join the Army;
of course, it wouldn't alarm me.
I'd just follow you -
and join up too;
do you really want them to arm me?
The French Foreign Legion you say?
Oh, go ahead then and play.
They've probably disbanded;
you won't care for sand, it
gets in places I'd rather not say.
No, I think the best thing for you
is to marry, posthaste hereforeto.
Get down on one knee
and passionately plea,
for my hand - you coy dickens, you.
