Our Crazy Story // Kian Lawley

Chapter 5- "We're not dating."

Yesterday was a fun day at the beach with the guys, but I desperately needed some girl time and Jc told me that his girlfriend, Lia, was going to be at the guys' house today so I was happy to come over. I made sure to shower first because I don't want to stink.

When a I finish, I make my way out to their house on my penny board that Im obsessed with. I just noticed yesterday when I got home that on the bottom of the board, there was a quote saying, 'never doubt yourself.' Obviously it was Kian but it was really cute.

As I arrived, the door was unlocked which was kinda dangerous but I walked in. Kian, Jc, and a blonde girl which I assumed was Lia was on the couch watching a movie," Autumn!" Jc yells.

I wave at them before taking a seat next to Kian. He smells like he just got up but don't ask me how I know what that smells like," this is my girlfriend Lia," Jc says before I smile.

"Hi Lia, Im Autumn," I say.

"Aw, you're so beautiful and cuddly and you're perfect," she says, causing me to smile. "Wow, sorry. I don't know what caused me to say that but come and follow me," she says, dragging me upstairs. We walk into this room and straight outside the balcony. Damn, this is beautiful.

"This is Jc's room if you were wondering," she laughs.

"You seem really nice and awesome," I say. "How did you and Jc meet?"

"It was at playlist and I don't really know," she says. "So, what is going on between you and Kian?"

"What? Nothing. We're not dating," I say.

"Not by the looks of it," she says, smirking.

"What are you talking about? Did he tell you anything?" I say more worried.

"He didn't have to," she says. "I can tell he sees something in you just by him looking at you Autumn. You may not like him but he definitely likes you."

Kian likes me? Me? How in the universe does he like me? "I think thats far fetched."

"Okay then. When you two start dating, I get the privilege to say I told you so," she says.

I laugh," deal."

"Guys! Come down here!" Someone yells but I don't know who. Lia and I run down the stairs, almost tripping over Wishbone. Kian had his laptop out and we saw Connor's face. He's leaving O2L? But. But why?

"Why is he leaving?" Lia asks.

"Thats our question," Jc says. I thought Connor was so sweet and amazing but now he's just going to leave? Did he tell anyone? I look at Kian and I couldn't tell if he was hurt or mad. Why would Kian be mad about this? I watch as he storm up into his room.

I walk into the kitchen so I could make a phone call to Connor. It goes straight to voicemail. Are you kidding me Connor? He just decides to post a video telling everyone he's leaving without giving us a real reason why?

I decided to go after Kian. I didn't know which room was which but all of their doors were opened. I knew Jc's room because he has an awesome balcony. I look into this room and all I see was Pokémon. That would be Ricky. There was another room which was kind of dull and there was someone sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

I knock before I enter even though the door was opened. I didn't want to be rude or interrupt," are you okay?" I say as loud as I could since I was barely audible. I didn't know what he was feeling.

"Um yeah," he says. "Why are you so quiet?" he says, scooting over so I could sit.

"I didn't know if you were mad or sad so I just stayed subtle."

"I don't know, its just... Has Connor told you anything? Like about you and him?" he asks.

I shake my head," why?"

"I think you should talk to him about that and then get back to me." As just on cue, my phone starts ringing and that contact name 'Connor😏💁' comes onto the screen. I answer it as Kian mouths the words 'put it on speaker' and I do as told.

"Hello?" I say, not showing any emotion because he didn't pick up before.

"Look, all of you guys are probably planning to put my head on a stick but there is so much going on right now that you guys don't understand," he pauses before sighing. "I had feelings for you Autumn, since the day we met."

This time, I took a breather and Kian was tensing up," I don't know what happened to me when I was away but my feelings for you just kept disappearing because I noticed how Kian looks at you like you're his everything and you two get along so well so I just gave up. I finally took some time alone in my new apartment and I just called you to say that... Im gay Autumn."

So many thoughts are rushing in my head. For instance, the whole Kian thing and what Lia said. And him having feelings for me. And the Kian thing again," I know you don't have words right now but when you have them, call me back and please don't tell the guys. I'll tell them later but I thought I should tell you first," he says before hanging up.

When I look up at Kian, I see that Jc and Lia are at the door. I'm assuming that they heard the conversation," we'll leave you two alone," Lia says.

"Kian-"

"Don't ask," he cuts.

"We have to talk about this sooner or later Kian," I say.

"Fine! I like you, okay? I don't know how and I don't know when but I fucking like you and he annoys the fuck out of me when you're around him and huggy around him besides me and I get jealous when you two are together. Jesus Autumn, I like you," he says, taking breaths.

There is so many thoughts I have to process. I knew I had to talk to Connor about his feelings towards me and him being gay but right now, Im trying to comprehend Kian and when he started liking me," why didn't you just tell me?" I ask.

He shrugs," because Im not good with these things. The last girl I dated, she ripped my fucking heart out and stomped on it. At first, I was scared if I started liking you and we dated, that would happen but a I learned that you're not that type of girl."

"Oh," was all I managed to say. "I need a minute," I say, walking out of Kian's room. I decided to go onto Jc's balcony since it had the nicest view. I found Lia outside as well.

"Hey cutie," she says, pulling me into a hug. We're both the same age but she's definitely more mature than me. I wanted to cry but I just cant.

"I know you have a lot going on and I know you had a lot of... Past," she says. I don't care that Kian told her because I trust her and I didn't need to tell another person about it.

"I just don't know what to do. Connor liked me and I never even knew about it but now he's gay because Kian likes me and since when did he like me?" I say.

"Take a breather Autumn, life isn't always going to be easy. Just remember to never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary," she says before leaving me on the balcony. What does that mean? I know Im not ordinary.

Connor always blushes when I talk to him, I guess that was a sign of him liking me? I don't really understand the whole guy situation. And Kian always looks down when I do something stupid. Like at the mall when I really had to pee.

But this doesn't prove anything. I still don't know what Im supposed to do. Am I supposed to like Kian back? Because Im not sure if I do like him back. My grandpa always told me to never trust guys because all they want to do is steal your money which I found hilarious because he thought I was going to be this super, wealthy woman. Well Im not.

But he did tell me one thing if Im not sure if I liked someone. He told me to be alone and just relax. If you like this person, you will find your way back to him because you miss him. You miss all the little things and thats what I want to do right now.

I make my way back to Kian's room and he's still in the same spot," Kian, Im going to spend some time alone and just think about this, okay?"

He nods understanding," thats fine, take as long as you need."

Really? He's just okay with this? Wow.