Truly Yours • Kim Mingyu

[twelve]

Third Person's POV:

Amid the crowd of unidentified individuals, she finally sees him. Unlike other nights, tonight Mingyu is wearing a simple jacket of leather with a V neck black t-shirt on the inside. Despite the ineluctable fact that he's drunk and wasted, somehow the young man manages to look effortlessly gorgeous in the plainest outfit, overshining those exorbitant tuxedos and ornaments. 

He catches a peek at her too, incidentally.

Miyeon espies him, surrounded by a bunch of people she never met. Men next to him jabbering about innominate issues. Meanwhile, sylphlike arms and legs of the women being enfolded around his broad shoulders and torso; like he is their solitary property.

He sees her as she stands before him. She expects him to come running to her and pull her into his warm embrace, which she yearned for so long.

The male does nothing.

His fathomless black gazelle eyes and inscrutable countenance remains unwavered. There isn't one bit of flummoxment in him, as if he sees her everyday. He stands up from his position and advances towards her with woozy steps.

"Mingyu why are you . . ." She says in whisper, her gaze trying to penetrate the impenetrable bulwark he has built around his soul over the span of time. 

His black eyes are impassive and cold, like his heart.

It's just as Jeonghan mentioned.

The old Mingyu is dead and buried, there's nothing left of him.

This Mingyu is a completely different person. Different from what he used to be and what he dreamt of becoming. Sadly, the change is negative.

This Mingyu standing infront of her is anyone but the person who jumped up infront the gun and walked over the bridge of death for her. He is anyone but the person who didn't hesitate twice to give his life in order to save hers.

He has become a person who is far behind from feeling any emotions such as love, affection, longing, joy or even sorrow.

He is like a solidified rock, an empty can.

"You think you can just come anytime you like and leave whenever you want? You think you have the permission to trespass into my life and vandalize everything?" He scoffs, eyes flickering into something caliginous and all catastrophic.

"You know what? I'm so sick of this Miyeon. I'm sick of you. Cut me some slack now. Why won't you leave me alone? Who are you to do this to me?" Says he. Her silent tears and balled fists make him more galled. "You shitty supernatural psycho bitch - you're dead yet you don't stop ruining lives. You ruined everyone's. You ruined mine, you ruined me. I hate you so much Yoon Miyeon. I fucking hate you."

Each line he said was enough to make the young woman think that she had made the worst decision of her life by putting all her faith in this man, hoping that he'd become a person whom everyone including himself would be proud of.

He disappointed everyone with whom he has become.

He disappointed himself.

Miyeon's POV:

All I'm doing is listening.

I'm not saying anything,
I'm not blinking,
I'm not moving,
I'm not breathing,

Just listening.

I realize that I made a huge mistake by coming here. I get what Jeonghan was indicating to when he said Mingyu was gone.

He really is.

Not only on the outer appearance, but on the inside too.

Every little things about him has changed drastically; his eyes, the way he talks, the way he looks at other things and people around him, his gestures and motions, his every vocal shift and intonation fluctuation.

His heart.

Everything has been remoulded and replaced with something that bides millions  of miles from the word 'positive'. There's this dark, tenebrous aura radiating from him. I can feel it in every bones of my body. It consumed every good part that was left of him and dragged him into the deepest depths of utter lifelessness.

It felt like he gave up on himself, gave up on his life.

I'm sad about it but at the same time I'm angry. If he had moved on with someone else in his life, it would've hurt less than seeing him like this.

Words sink deeper into your skin than any needle or blade. Right now, I feel his hurtful words clinging on to every bare part of my soul. My heart feels like it's been stepped on over and over by someone who is using the strength of the entire universe.

His comments directed to me are like explosives, strafying the walls of my heart and crashing it into nothing. Tears are cascading down my cheeks like waterfall. I feel pathetic, broken and damaged in every parts of my inside that I can possibly think of.

Something tells that this damage will stay there for a long time, most likely to be permanent.

When I know he's finished, I start walking away from him and head towards the exit. I can feel his stare burning my back, but I don't look back. I keep jogging until the reach the end. Jeonghan follows me. He saw everything. He takes my wrist, holding me against his chest.

I'm crying and crying.

He doesn't say anything. He just pats my back sympathetically. "It's not your fault Mimi." No, It is my fault.

I should've seen this coming.

I'm such an idiot.

I feel regretful for coming back to this world. Things were better when I didn't. They were doing better.

I was doing better with Eunwoo at the underworld.

You're dead yet you don't stop ruining lives. You ruined mine, you ruined me.

I ruined everyone's lives . . .

I'm a such a horrible person.

I hope a truck hits me on my way back home and I just die on the spot without any further delay.