Truly Yours • Kim Mingyu

[eight]

"Here have more. This too. Eat more." Wonwoo shoves three spoonful of bibimbap with some kimchi inside my mouth, despite the fact that I'm constantly shaking my head and telling him not to.

"Noona noona have a vegetable roll. I made it myself. It's nutritious and has a lot of vitamins in it." I am still chewing my bibimbap but Seungkwan is already inpelling a huge nUtRiTiOuS vegetable roll inside my mouth.

"Mimi drink this juice." I don't know how he managed to push the straw inside my mouth because there's so much food inside my small cute mouth that I can't even masticate, the muscles inside my jaw and cheeks are literally hurting. Ever since I woke up from sleep, they have been feeding me like I haven't eaten for a whole year.

"My god you're so skinny Yeonnie. Eat fast. You have so many things to finish." Joshua clicks his tounge as he unwraps the paper foil from the burger. I have been eating for 1 hour straight.

Yes 1 hour. 1 freaking hour.

If they force me to eat anything else aside from what's inside my mouth then I AM GOING TO EXPLODE. "I cam't eatm amymore-"

"Oh no you have to. You're so weak. I saw how you were struggling when you were trying to lift those boxes to your room. You used to do these chores so easily before." Jeonghan is right. I'm not strong like before. In fact, I'm very weak. I've no strength left in my body.

This second life gave me so much, it gave me back my family.

Concurrently, it snatched more than it just gave.

The more it gave, the greater it took.

"I know I'm weak. It's the side effect. But please, I can't seriously eat anymore. I swear I'll vomit everything if you make me eat anything else." I say, practically begging.

"Okay. I'm sparing you now. After one hour I'm feeding you again, or else you won't regain your strength. You can't say no, hmm?" I tilt my head down and upwards, affirming with his command obediently.

It torments me, because what I lost can't be simply regained by eating or taking medications.

I won't ever regain it.

Everyone filed two weeks of absence from their respective workplaces to stay with me and take care of me. I told them that they don't have to, that I'll be just fine on my own but they're determined and obstinate, they won't listen to me no matter how much effort I put in to convince them.

"Noona we're so tall and big now, how come you didn't change even a bit?" Vernon asks. "Your face, physique and height is the same as before. It's like you didn't grow or age at all. You still look like a fresh and young high schooler. I feel so old sitting beside you." Wonwoo adds, examining my face up close. I don't know if I should take it as a compliment or a rational word, because it's neither of them.

"Even your curse mark is gone." Jeonghan points at my neck where I previously had my mark, beaming with every word.

I should be happy. I should be.

However, my heart is heavy.

There's still so much left to say. They deserve to know.

"Actually I didn't change because I... I-" My words is stuck at the tip of my tounge; they're capped with anxiety and disenchantment. I swallow the lump in my throat, feeling the liquid rushing down all the way to the lowest pits of my stomach.

"I stopped aging."

I force my eyes to shut close and tightly clutch the fabric of my sweatpant because I find it so hard to utter my next sentence.