Undying Devotion || Yizhan ||

chapter 14 : confession

When Yibo came home that evening, he took in the scene of complete dark in the apartment. He thought that Zhan isn't back yet. So he changed his shoes and turned on the lights one by one. When the lights of the living room turned on, he saw someone sitting on the sofa. Though Yibo had steel heart , he was still taken aback. His eyes widened before becoming normal again the next moment.

He saw the man sitting there like a block , not moving, not even looking at him. If it was other days, Zhan would walk over to him with a smile and ask how his day went. Yibo felt something amiss.

He walked to zhan and sat down beside him, calling his name, "Zhan?"

Zhan responded to his call by turning to look at him, looking at his eyes. Zhan stared at him for a long time, causing Yibo to furrow his brows. With a gentle voice, Yibo asked again, " What's wrong?"

Finally Zhan opened his mouth to say few words, "Let me look at you for a moment."

Yibo's brows furrowed more. He similarly looked at Zhan's expression. It was empty , without any colour. Yibo took Zhan's cold hand and held it. Then he realised that Zhan's hands were trembling.

He was about to ask zhan what happened to him but Zhan spoke first, his voice trembled causing his words to come out as a plead, "Yibo.."

"Do you like me?"

Yibo stilled. He pursed his lips. He knows something is wrong with zhan. And so he replied gently while looking at Zhan's eyes, "yes."

In his heart, he said, I like you. I love you. I love you more than my life. Even if I die , my love for you will never die.

Zhan looked like he didn't hear what he said. If it was any other days , he would probably blush hard. But now , zhan only felt empty inside.
"Why do you like to stare at me all the time? Do you like me this much ? Or are you searching for someone else's
shadow on my face?"

Yibo's widened his eyes as he looked at Zhan. His breathing went out of control. His grip on Zhan's hand tightened. His state was naturally captured by Zhan who then laughed. Zhan laughed in irony. " Why? Why are you not saying anything?"

After a moment of silence, Yibo asked with a cold voice," Did you meet someone today?"

"Why do you care? Are you afraid that they'll tell me something you don't want me to know?"

Yibo gritted his teeth as he replied, " That's not it. Listen to me-"

"The one you like is him right? Is that the reason why you sneak up to me every night?"

At this point, Yibo didn't know how to explain his deed. He felt everything is going out of his control. He knows that it's all because of him that he had to face this situation. If he had never  gotten close to Zhan...then would Zhan be this hurt? The answer is probably a 'no'.

"You know everything." It was  a statement.

Zhan looked down and took out his hand from Yibo's grip.
"Yes.." he said after a while, "Lan wangji."

Yibo's hand trembled. He have always longed for that person to call his name again. But instead of pleasure, at this moment he only felt fear and guilt. He subconsciously called out, "Wei ying-"

"Stop!" Zhan yelled causing Yibo to stop suddenly.

Zhan's eyes turned red as if the next moment tears will leak out from them. " Stop. Please. I'm not him. I'm really not him. Why all of you are like this..why."

At the end he ended up letting out a whimper. Then he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He slapped away Yibo's hand that was reaching for him. " Don't touch me!"

"What should I do now? Ah? Lu jie, A-Cheng, You, all of you had purpose to approach me. You all mistook me for Wei Wuxian. All of your love and care are for him. Nothing belongs to me, nothing! What should I do...I'm envious, I'm really envious of him, yibo."

Zhan let out his frustration, his hands hitting Yibo's shoulder who remained quiet. The next moment Yibo forcefully took zhan in his arms and held him tightly. He kissed Zhan's neck and said after a lot of thinking, "I love you. I don't care if you are...him or not. I love you. Don't cry anymore okay? Hm?"

Yibo used his hands to make Zhan face him, "Look at my eyes, I'm not lying." Yibo put his hand on his heart, " This heart only beats for you, Zhanzhan."

" let me live in the present with you? Alright?"

Zhan cried harder and harder. "You can't fool me with that. It's only because I look like him. You're selfish. You are selfish. I-I know how much you like him. You can't like me."

"Zhan" Zhan heard the man sigh,  then he said calmly, " I never lie." "Yes , I'm selfish , I want you to only look at me , only belong to me. I don't care what you turn into, I'll still love you. Just give me a chance, okay?"

"It pains me, Yibo. It's painful."

Yibo sighed. He grabbed Zhan's chin and kissed him directly. He ignored Zhan's protest, Zhan was no match for him anyway. He let Yibo kiss and explore his mouth. His breath quickened but the man kissing him didn't let go. He greedily licked his lips and entangled with his tongue, refusing to let go. Zhan felt his strength leaving his body. Taking advantage of his weakness , Yibo lifted the entire person and made him sit on his lap, his hand returning to grab the back of Zhan's head.

The kiss lasted a long time. When Yibo finally let go, Zhan fell on his embrace,  panting heavily. His emotions slowly coming to a track.

Yibo caressed his hair as he placed a kiss on Zhan's hair. Both of them stayed like this without saying anything. After a long time, Yibo said once again,  as if giving him a reminder, " I love you."

"My whole being is devoted to you."

Zhan who was in a daze, looked up at Yibo's eyes. His brows furrowed unintentionally. Just now, he felt a bit familiar. A familiar aura, causing him to calm down. Zhan didn't care about that.

He said, " I love you, Yibo. More than you can imagine. "

Yibo felt his heart finally settle down, he leaned down to kiss Zhan's swollen lips as he said,"call my name."

Zhan remained silent but then said, "Lan Wangji."

"Don't say my courtesy name. Call me Lan Zhan."

After saying this, Yibo panicked. He began to clumsily explain, " its not like that. I want you to call me. Calling one's informal name is intimate-"

Zhan's lips lifted a little. He said , understanding, " Lan Zhan."
Yibo stopped explaining and took the person in his arms. What to do , this person is too much precious to him.

In his arms, Zhan mumbled, " promise me , you'll not confuse me with him. We are different."

Wangji, who already experienced the pain of losing his loved one before, tightened his hold and said obsessively, "I promise you. My devotion is all for you." I can't afford to lose you. If I lose you I'll probably go crazy.

"Thank you."

After calming down, all Zhan could think of was,
He loved this man. No matter why this man approached him, he Will still love the man. Because without Yibo, his world will feel empty. So he decided to gamble, he'll continue to love him. No matter what happens, until he dies , he'll only love this man, no matter who it is, lan Zhan from an entirely different world or Wang yibo from this world, he'll love him at any cost.

Zhan's eyes shone with determination. After a while he snuggled into Yibo's warm embrace.