Ness' Comet

Ch 31: Sunday

I took a small bite of my toast and sipped my sugary coffee as I played a few games on my phone. Nobody except Jacob and I were in the house, and he hadn't gotten up yet. It was early. I knew that. Especially for a Sunday. My parents went out hunting for the morning and I was perfectly content being alone for a little while. I pondered a bit how I was going to tell Jacob I had a date that night with Jared at the movies before realizing I was being silly. Why did it matter how I told Jacob? He certainly wouldn't mind, and I knew he'd be more than happy for me as long as I was happy. I just hoped he wouldn't see that I wasn't terribly excited, otherwise he would urge me not to go, but not for the reasons I wanted.

    Speaking of the devil, Jacob waltzed into the kitchen wearing a clean navy pullover and some basic jeans and boots. He whistled his way over to the fridge after greeting me, clearly in a good mood as usual. I couldn't help but smile. Whenever Jacob was in high spirits, it was infectious and his sunshine lit up the entire room. It momentarily caused me to forget some of the worries I was feeling before he had arrived. Whenever Jacob was around it was him and only him that was in the room, in the world, and in my thoughts.

    Jacob sat after getting himself a massive bowl of cereal and milk. "What's up Ness?" he asked casually, taking a giant spoonful of cheerios into his mouth.

    I shrugged with an amused smile. "Nothing really. How was your day yesterday? Were you miserable without me?" I teased, taking another sip of coffee.

    "Of course!" he exclaimed playfully. "I always miss having you around. But, it was nice to go on the res for a little bit and see my dad and the others."

    "Oh that's nice! I hope you said 'hi' to Billy for me?"

    He nodded. "Of course I did! And Seth sends his love too. He keeps asking me when he'll get to see you again."

    I made a mental note to myself that I had to go visit the reservation sometime soon with Jacob, especially now that I was starting to feel somewhat normal with him again. It wasn't as hard for me to be spending time with him as it used to be. As long as I acted like nothing was different, I could almost convince myself for a short time that it really wasn't. However, that never lasted terribly long.

    "Maybe sometime this week we can go see them?" I asked.

    "Sure!" he replied, swallowing another spoonful of cereal. "But this week probably isn't good right? Since you have school and then the Halloween dance this Friday?"

    I'd nearly forgotten about that, of all things. I felt silly for a minute that it had completely slipped my mind for half a second that this weekend was when all the Halloween festivities were supposed to take place.

    "We could go today if you'd like?" Jacob offered, seeing the slight visible disappointment on my face.

    I shook my head. "I can't today," I answered hesitantly.

    Jacob raised an eyebrow. He didn't look upset, since he was rarely (if ever) upset with me about anything. "Why not? Big plans for the day?"

    I shrugged. "Kind of." I paused for a moment before repeating to myself for the millionth time that it wasn't a big deal and there was no reason for me to feel uncomfortable telling Jacob about my interactions with Jared. "I'm going to the movies with someone tonight."

    Jacob looked surprised. "Are we talking about a date?" he teased.

    I couldn't help but blush. "Maybe." Part of me hoped his reaction wouldn't have been so playful or happy for me. It's not that I wanted him to act jealous, since jealousy isn't really a turn on for me. However, I wanted to see some semblance of disappointment, or something that indicated even in the faintest way (no matter how stupid the hope was) that I had a chance. Apparently, this wasn't the case.

    "That's great Ness!" Jacob exclaimed. "Is this the same kid you are going to that Halloween dance with?"

    I nodded, trying hard not to appear as upset as I was feeling.

    "Well, I'm so happy for you. Are you happy?"

    I nodded again, faking the best smile I could. Jacob seemed to buy it, which I was grateful for, since I wasn't in the mood to have a more serious conversation with him, now or ever, about how I was really feeling. I think a part of me
desperately hoped that if I gave this thing with Jared, a normal human boy with no hang ups or complications, a real shot then I could learn to like being in a relationship with someone besides Jacob. Anyone besides Jacob. I was being stupid and I knew it, but the problem was that I felt kind of ashamed and embarrassed of my affections towards my best friend. It felt weird, yet there was something that pulled me to him lately that I couldn't describe. It was almost as though I couldn't make myself be away from Jacob even if I wanted to, and I did try. It was a futile attempt, but it was still an attempt nonetheless. Being around him more and more only worsened my guilty feelings and constant heartache.
    Before I had time to do or say anything ill advised while I was alone with Jacob, mercifully, my parents arrived. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and welcomed them back, asking all manner of questions about their hunt that I knew I didn't care about. But, it made them happy that I was speaking to them more normally again, especially because I'd also been avoiding my father for the longest time since this whole being-confused-about-Jacob thing began. Now, I figured there was no point, seeing as Bella probably told him everything anyway.