Ness' Comet

Ch 15: Ice Cream with Jacob

Jacob and I pulled in at the Diner, which was the only place in town to get ice cream besides the grocery store. We walked through the front entrance, the sound of a bell from the door going off before we were greeted by a waitress who I'd seen there a couple times. Her name was Trish and she was a short, plump woman in her thirties with jet black hair and heavily filled in eyebrows. She always wore red lipstick and her face was sprinkled with freckles.

"Hello there!" she greeted. She looked at me skeptically. "Have I seen you here before?" she asked.

I laughed nervously. "I don't think so." It had been a while since I'd been in the Diner. The last time I was there I looked like I was maybe twelve and now I looked like a fully grown young woman. But I wasn't oblivious, and I knew that I had a difficult face to forget. I might not have been as beautiful as all the true vampires, but half of me had that angelic quality that I would have to be an idiot to not notice.

The waitress still looked skeptical but decided it would be rude to push me. She ushered for Jacob and I to follow her to one of the booths, her eyes constantly peeking at Jake as we walked. She looked shocked by him and by his sheer size. He didn't appear to notice but I couldn't help but stifle a laugh. The Diner was a relatively small place with standard ugly tables and yellow faux leather booths. I didn't care what it looked like though. I was strangely content to be there, deciding I was going to enjoy myself rather than obsess over all the complicated things I had floating around my mind these days.

We were immediately presented with two glasses of water in plastic cups that felt warm from being freshly washed. I took a sip of the ice water and bounced my leg nervously under the table.

"So what do you think you're going to get?" asked Jacob.

"Hmm," I replied, looking at the back of the way-too-large menu for the desserts. "I'm going for the brownie sundae."

Jacob's eyes widened and he laughed. "That's a bit much for you, don't you think?"

I arched an eyebrow, teasingly insulted. "How dare you Jacob Black, insinuate that I am incapable of finishing my sundae on my own!"

This made him laugh even harder, his brilliant white teeth bared and striking next to his russet skin. I gulped. "No offense Nessie, but you don't exactly eat much and I doubt you'll be able to handle this whole thing alone."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Should I order something else?"

Jacob shook his head. "No you don't have to. I was just gonna say that I'll share it with you. It's kind of big and I was looking at it myself." He smiled warmly.

Something moved in the pit of my stomach. Jacob and I had shared many things over the years. It wasn't unusual for him and I to share food or drinks or whatever. But, now for some reason it felt different. I chastised myself internally. I knew exactly what the reason for this change was and I felt ashamed of it. Jacob was of course totally oblivious to this, and not wanting to make things awkward I agreed to share the sundae with him.

As we placed our order, the waitress once again couldn't take her eyes off of my giant werewolf companion. She didn't seem to be gawking at him or flirty, but she was definitely not used to seeing a Jacob sized person walk into her Diner on a daily basis.

"So how is school going? You think it was the right decision?" Jacob asked, his attention fully on me. Whenever Jacob spoke to me it was like I was the only person in the whole world who he could see. There was nobody else on the planet let alone in the room, and it was as if whatever mundane thing I was about to tell him was suddenly vitally important information. How could someone not love Jacob? I always thought to myself.

I shrugged, trying to be casual. "It's going alright. I enjoy having something to do and somewhere to go. It gets boring having to entertain myself all the time."

Jacob nodded. "I'm not surprised at all that you decided to do this. I'll admit I was skeptical, not because I didn't think you could handle it but because other kids suck and I was worried about you."

A tiny voice in my head was eccasstic to hear Jacob say those words. I swatted it away, telling myself I was being ridiculous. Jacob said things like that to me all the time and never did it have such an effect on me.

I smiled. "Thanks Jake. I promise that it really is going well. I won't disagree that kids can sometimes suck," I chuckled, using his words. "But that's part of the experience I suppose. I didn't have much of a childhood as you know. I want to have some life experience to take with me for an eternity."

Jacob's mouth pressed into a line as he bobbed his head in understanding. "Well, I'm so happy for you Ness. I really am. And Lizzie seems nice! You think you'll stay friends with her?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I said, surprisingly passionate. "I really think I will."

"That's great!"

Our conversation was momentarily interrupted when the waitress brought over our massive warm brownie with a giant glob of vanilla ice cream resting on top of it, the cream melting down the sides and topped with whipped cream and a cherry.

Jacob practically licked his lips. "Wow, look at that," he said, ready to dig in. He was right about the portion size. I definitely would have made myself sick if I'd tried to eat it alone. Luckily for me, even if I ate none of it Jacob could finish it off with ease and not feel a thing.

I took a bite, the contrast of the warm brownie and cold ice cream against my tongue was lovely. It tasted delicious and immediately I felt revived. I needed an outing like this to calm me. Edward and Bella didn't eat and neither did the rest of my family, so I always had to count on Jacob to take me out for treats like this.

"Remember when you and I used to make sundaes at the house when you were a kid?" asked Jacob, his eyes bright. "And Edward and Bella would get so mad that we'd made a mess?" he laughed.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. Jacob would let me do whatever I wanted when we made sundaes. I'd get chocolate syrup all over the counter tops and pile mountains of whipped cream all over the ice cream. Memories like that gave me warm feelings and they only served to perpetuate the growing foriegn feelings I now possessed for Jacob. I had to admit it to myself, that I cared for him more deeply than I ever thought I could care for anyone.

"It was so cute," said Jacob cheerfully. "You were always so happy."

This made me momentarily sad. The way he spoke was like an uncle or some other parental type figure reminiscing about how cute I was when I was a kid. I felt instantly depressed, realizing that no matter how I felt about Jacob he would ever only see me as that same little kid. Of course he would! I was an idiot. Why wouldn't he? It would be completely weird and inappropriate of me to ask him for any kind of affection that wasn't purely familial. He'd be weirded out for sure and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. It didn't matter that I had no reservations about the age gap, because he probably did. My strange relationship with age was not his, and I couldn't make it be. But maybe one day, I could show him I was capable of being someone worthy of him. One day when I was more mature and experienced in life, he could see me as a woman.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I was startled for a minute by his question, lost in my own thoughts for a long time. I sucked involuntary and imminent tears back up before they could fall and smiled cheerfully as though nothing was wrong.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I was thinking, is all. I have a lot on my mind lately. Gotta practice those songs for the school musical you know," I laughed nervously. "They're counting on me."

Jacob didn't look very convinced that I was alright, but in an effort to most likely not upset me further, he decided to leave it. We finished our dessert with minimal conversation. I could feel the warmth radiating off of Jacob as we walked side by side towards the car. It wasn't simply his literal warmth, but the warm light he cast over everyone he was with. It always seemed like his being with me, or being in the same room with me was somehow the highlight of his day. Or even his year! He was so inexplicably content to be with me no matter the circumstances and I felt endlessly guilty that I wanted to complicate our wonderful relationship. I decided it was best to keep things to myself for now. After all, I had school, I had my friends and I had Jacob's companionship.