Ness' Comet

Ch 56: Think About It

Seth helped me carry some of my things upstairs to the spare room. My mother's old room. It was strange being in there, almost untouched since she moved out years ago. Charlie and Sue clearly didn't need the extra space. I plopped my stuff down and slunk onto the bed.

"You look comfortable," joked Seth.

I playfully rolled my eyes. "Thanks. I feel great."

Seth sighed. "So are you ready to talk now?"

I sat up. "Fine. What do you have to say Seth?"
He paused for a moment, looking as though he were pondering the correct words. "I know you feel kind of betrayed. But the idea that this thing between you and Jacob is all fake, is the wrong way to look at it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? You're telling me that I should accept that he only thinks that he likes me back because I feel that way about him? From my understanding if I told him tomorrow I was in love with someone else he would be totally cool with it because that's what will make me happy."

Seth pursed his lips. "I guess that's true but it's very unlikely."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that imprinting isn't as one sided as it seems. At least from seeing all of the wolves who've already imprinted. You wanna hear my theory?" Seth said cautiously.

"Your theory?"

Seth looked down at his hands for a minute and thought. "I've never seen a situation where a wolf who imprints doesn't end up with the person they imprinted on," he began.

"So?" I interrupted.

"So," he continued. "It's probably because it's impossible not to fall in love with someone so devoted to you. I have a suspicion that it's a weird soul mate type tie and whether you believe it or not, you were always destined to love Jacob."

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath, rubbing my temples. "Let me get this straight," I finally uttered. "Not only are Jacob's feelings manufactured by his wolf genes, but fate or the universe or some other nonsense has forced me into loving someone without my choice?!"

Seth could see he'd slipped up. "Ness," he sighed. "Why are you fighting it so hard? Why are you so hung up on this? What does it matter?"

"Because it does, okay! I've always felt like I was being dragged along through everything, unable to decide anything for myself and now the reason I think I'm in love with Jacob is probably not even real either?! The freaking universe decided this for me and forced him to love me back by activating a dormant wolf gene that chemically changes how he thinks?"

Seth remained silent for a long time. Clearly he was waiting for me to calm down. I wasn't yelling but it was clear I was getting a little too worked up. I hated when I got this way. Ever since I discovered these new feelings for Jacob I'd been acting like a mad woman.

"Did you ever think Ness that sometimes it's okay to just accept what is? If you love Jacob and he loves you, then why should it matter that the universe or fate or whatever else you want to call it threw you together this way? Enjoy the happiness it will bring you rather than fighting against it or resenting it. Don't cut your nose to spite your face."

I opened my mouth to reply but found I had nothing to say. I let out a deep breath, unable to express what I was feeling.

"Just think about it, okay?"

I nodded. "Fine. I'll think about it." Again there was a long pause. Seth could definitely sense there was more I wanted to say, and waited for me to do so.

Finally, I relented. "How is he?" I practically whispered.

Seth knew exactly who I was referring to.
"Jake is okay. He's obviously not fantastic since you're upset with him. It's hard for him to be away from you for too long. After a few days he's going to be miserable."

"Oh great," I murmured.

"Before you get annoyed, let me ask you how are you doing without him?" Seth raised an eyebrow knowingly at me.

I didn't want to admit the truth to him, because the truth felt humiliating. I didn't want to be around Jacob but a part of me agonized over being unable to see him. I never went so long without his presence and it was driving me crazy.

"I rest my case," said Seth before I could verbally answer.

"You have no case," I retorted petulantly.

Seth shrugged. "If you say so." He walked towards the bedroom door to leave. Suddenly he turned around and said, "I think you should call him." Then, he left.

I sat back down on the bed, pulling out my phone. I stared at it for a long time, almost looking for Jacobs number. My finger was so close to pressing the call button, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I shoved the phone underneath my pillow angrily, and marched to the bathroom to take a nice, long, hot shower.