The call boy ( The Red Phone Society)

Toy boy

Yongi hung up the call leaving me with my soul in a thread after confessing what I feel for him, my eyes full of tears and my beats at full speed, maybe I should have kept shutting up ... maybe I shouldn't have said anything to him, I know that He will never feel anything for me, it has always been clear, I am only his toy on duty, his pastime, no affection, no love, no promises, but the heart does not understand reasons, my heart fell in love with his hardness, with his  lost look of pain, of his conversations between dreams where He ask for help desperately, he is a tormented soul, under all that hatred and that coldness I know that a different man hides.

My eyes cry silently so that my friend Hope doesn't listen to me, I know I'm a traitor for loving someone who hurt Jimin so much, but I can't do anything to get it out of my heart, I just hope Yongi lets me see it, I need to know that it's okay,  I need to take care of him, I need it.

It is a strange need, an unhealthy need for Him, maybe I'm also a crazy and sick fool, maybe I get used to his rude way of being, and I confused his acts with caresses, but I never cared, I didn't care that his Hands squeeze my neck almost until I choke, I don't care if he hit me sometimes, if later he kissed me ... that was the only important thing, that between pain and pleasure I always had him for myself, even for a few brief moments. I felt He mine.

Hope comes into the room with a bowl of cereal and stares at me, he knows me well and realizes that I have been crying and that I have been sleeping little for days and have not really eaten

* You can't go on like this, take eat some cereal, you can't go to bed with nothing on your stomach, or keep crying you're going to get sick, you've lost weight, I'm worried about you Tae

thanks friend but I'm really not hungry

* Is it because of Him that you are like this? tae understands that yongi is not going to return, jungkook has half an army of men looking for him, he will not return, also ... you know what he is capable of, you know how he left Jimin ... I do not understand how you can continue to love him later of everything he did

I don't understand it either and that's what keeps me like this, I want to hate him, I want to hate him with all my might, but I can't, I just want to know that he's okay, he needs help Hope, his addiction and his alcoholism don't let him act like a normal person, but he is not bad, he is a broken man, someone hurt him, he just needs help to stop being like that

* do you think you can help him? Tae he doesn't want help, he lives in a self-destructive mode, taking everything he touches in his wake, I don't want him to hurt you too, please tell me that you are going to recover and go back to being the happy boy I've always known

I will try my friend, I promise you

Okay, now let's think about what we will do for Jimin's birthday, I thought maybe we can talk to Jungkook and organize a surprise party for him

If it's a good idea, if you want, I'll talk to him

Ok

Deep down it is a good excuse to try to talk to Jungkook about yongi, maybe I can convince him to stop chasing him and forget about revenge, maybe he will listen to me and understand that yongi needs help, that he is not okay

Hope has to provide a service today, so I stay alone in the apartment, I decide to cook something fast and watch a movie, when my private phone rings, the call is from Yongi, my eyes open wilde  when I read his nane  on the phone I can not believe that he is calling me, my heart is racing, and I feel that I am going to faint, I take courage and answer

Hello...

+ Tae, what you said ... is it true?

what thing?  that I really love you Sir?

+ yes, how can someone love me

By the way he drags his words and the tone of his voice I can tell that he is drunk, his breath between cuts confirms it to me

+ I feel alone Tae, neither the liquor nor the drug can take away this feeling of loneliness ... today I wish I had you with me, your body has always helped me to relieve my stress

For a moment he fills me with emotion and hope, but when listening to him the truth gives me a slap reminding me that for him I am only a body, a toy with which he can entertain himself and satisfy his instincts, it was worth nothing that my love confessed to him,  For him it means nothing, we always return to the same point, he is a client and I his call boy

Hope's words come to mind, Jimin's tears come to mind, I try to remember all the times that He hurt me  and fill myself with courage to refuse his request

I'm sorry sir, but I can't work for you anymore, if we ever meet again it won't be like before

+ I do not understand, first  you call me and tell me all the nonsense you said and when I call you, do you reject me?  I'm going to pay you well Tae

Sir, you did not understand anything I said, I told you that I love you, that I want you to be well, that I want to take care of you, that I do not care about your money ... that if we have sex again it will not be for money

+ Money is the only thing I can offer you boy, not love, that feeling does not exist in me, I have never met him, nor do I want to know him, it was a mistake to call you, but you are not the only call boy in this damn country

The call hangs destroying my soul, the tears run down my cheek without stopping, I will never stop being a prostitute for him, my feelings are for him the same as garbage, damn the time I met him and fell in love with him