More than just a pretty face

12. I Need You

Christina's POV

I don't love Jordan and I never will. And somehow she knew before me. "How did you figure it out?" I breathe out after a long pause. "What are you talking about?" She tries playing it off, but I'm too tired to play this game. "Don't patronize me Amy, I'm not mad. I just want to know how you figured it out." She lets out a sigh. "Honestly I knew this morning already. It's been 8 weeks since the accident, and he still doesn't know. For some reason, you felt it easier to tell a total stranger about what ways on your heart rather than your own boyfriend. It's not something that happened a few days ago, you're not in shock, you're not still processing, and you're not 'waiting for the right time to tell him' either. It's been 8 weeks Christina which means that you decided he wasn't worth telling. To me, that sounds like you've already let him go."

She's right. Oh my God, she's right. During his stay at the training camp, I've barely missed him, and even when he came back, and we didn't spend time together I didn't mind. "You still there?" I hear Amy's voice over the speaker. "Look I'm sorry, I just... I know I'm a dick okay..... Ugh... Just I'm sorry okay." She seems genuine when she said that but also a bit nervous.

"I should be pissed at you." I finally let out after letting her simmer in the awkwardness of her own creation. "You have every right to.... I'm sorry again. Look I get it if you don't want to ever talk to me again, honestly, I don't blame you." Her voice cracks with panic. "If you want to ask Mrs. Jameson to change partners I get it and I won't fight you on it."

No, I don't want to change partners, today I've had one of my best and my worse days ever. I can't remember the last time I've cried this much, but I also can't remember the last time I could breathe this easy, and it was all because of that dry sarcastic and humorous girl on the other side of this cheap and half broke walkie-talkie.

"Amy, I don't want to lose you.... I've been going through some major stuff lately, and it took talking to you and a day full of crying to realize that I haven't been handling it properly. Heck, I didn't even know there was something to handle till you came along. I've known you for less than twenty-four hours, and you've already made such an impact on my life. Now it feels like you are the only actual friend that I have and right now I think I really need that."

She doesn't say anything for a while, I think I freaked her out. Jeez what's wrong with me, it sounded like an undying love confession, of course, she's going to bail now. "Okay." Is all I hear her say, it's soft, and I'm not even sure if I heard it correctly. "What?"

"I said okay, we won't ask to switch partners." I feel much more relieved than I thought I would. "But I still am who I am, and I'm not going to pretend I don't see things when I do. I don't beat around the bush and I don't play games like that. So I'm sorry, but I'm gonna put my foot in my mouth more often, and I need you to be able to handle that."

"I will, but you're not allowed to patronize me. You see something you tell me, no beating around the bush and playing those stupid mind games you like. .... Deal? Cuz that the only way I can be friends with you......" I wait for her answer.

"Damn it, friend zoned by the school's most popular girl." Her outburst lightens my heart and I can't stop the laugh that escapes my lips. Her laughter on the other side helps me breathe easier. We talk a bit more until I look at the clock and see that it's almost 4 Am. 

"Hey, I actually have to head to bed. I have an early morning. I'm supposed to be at my aunt's in 5 hours."

"Oh shit yeah it's pretty late, let's talk again tomorrow."

"Actually you wanna maybe hang out instead? Usually, I would do something with Jordan, but I don't think he has the guts to show his face anytime soon." I can hear her laughing on the other end. "Unfortunately I already have other plans."