Chances

Chapter 16: Word Vomit

When I get back into my dorm I'm still angry as I slam the door behind me, seeing that Lola is still not back so I throw myself onto my bed and pick up Jackson's sweatshirt I slept in last night, throwing it to the other side of the room. I pull a pillow over my face and let myself scream into it; I'm not really sure where this burst of emotion has come from. I'm assuming it's just how fed up I am of going backwards and forwards with Jackson.

To prevent me from sulking anymore I decide to shower and hope that it washes away some of the frustration circling through my mind. Throughout my shower all I can think about is that it all meant nothing to him and how naïve I am to have actually deep down believed that he gave a shit.

I must have forgot to lock the door because when I get back to my dorm room, Hallie is sat on my bed and she sits upright seeing me. I feel a lump in my throat as I look at her and her face softens, I gulp and hold back the tears so she just opens her arms wide for me and I walk over, sitting next to her and putting my head on her shoulder.

I tell her everything; I tell her about how embarrassed I was to tell her about it as deep down I knew that it wouldn't go anywhere and I should never have let myself get this deep.

"The worst thing about it," I start and sniffle, half laughing, "Is that at the beach he literally told me that nothing has happened between us."

"I don't think he believes that," Hallie says, sighing to herself. "I'm not taking away from the fact that he is a massive player, but it sounds like he has been trying with you." I shrug in response, "He obviously likes you if he's around you so much, but you deserve someone who is going to show you that they want you, who will choose you."

"I didn't come to college to be sad over boys." I pout and she laughs, pulling me in for another cuddle.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you were sad over boys." She laughs and I roll my eyes. "We need to go out tonight, just the two of us. A girls night where we can forget about all this shit."

"I don't know-" I start, pulling away.

"It's already happening, no ifs, no buts!" She smiles brightly and I roll my eyes, smiling as I know that I really need it. "I'm going to shower and I'll bring my outfits; we're going bowling and then we'll find a party to go to!"

I watch as she disappears out my door and I feel lucky to have her as my best friend; she always knows how to keep me sane and although she's social and extroverted, if she knows that I'm having a hard time she will drop everything for me.

I dry my hair into it's usual straight, middle parting, style. Applying natural make up and as I am in the middle of it, Hallie walks in wearing just a towel and her hair in a wet messy bun. She's got outfits draped over her arm and throws them on to the bed; her make up is done and she's got a smokey brown eye going on which compliments her copper hair lovely.

Hallie is deciding between a plaid skirt, leather pants or culottes and I settle on my ripped blue denim mom jeans and black boob tube; pairing it with my white sneakers and a chain. Hallie eventually goes for leather pants, a baggy white tshirt tied at the front and white sneakers. Her copper hair is curled loosely and she is grinning at me as we get ready to go.

Hallie has booked us to play bowling and I'm horrible at it. I end up having to get the sides of the bowling lane up to prevent it from constantly going down the sides, Hallie constantly mocks me throughout all of my turns and it's no surprise that she wins. I swear she booked this for herself rather than for me. After we finish, Hallie and I decide to go for some food and we both order loaded fries and hot dog.

"So, have I done a good job of making you feel better?" She grins, pushing three fries into her mouth at once and I nod dramatically.

"Yeah, you have. You always do, I suppose." I shrug and give her a smirk, "Apart from choosing a sport that I'm really bad at."