The Devil's Trap

38.

Lucas's Pov:

I watched her leaving with her new family, with her daughter and husband, she made the family that I wanted to build with her, with someone else.
I have no one to blame for that but myself.
I f*cked up, really bad. I lost the only one who truly loved me, who was truly there for me, the one to whom I belong, and for what? A lie.

I kept looking at the woman of my life,  laughing with someone else, and being happy. I was happy for her.
But all this time I was searching for her, I had hope.

Hope that she will forgive me, she might love me again and I might get the woman I love, back again in between my arms.

But seeing her now, my hopes went flying in thin air.

I made the biggest mistake of my life trusting Josefine, and not listening to Emily, thinking back about what happened I don't understand where the hell was my brain, what the hell was I thinking?

Everything came together really quickly, my engagement with Emily and then finding out that Josefine was the little girl I  wished to meet again for so long, ever since I saw her. I wanted to be with her because it felt as if I was that little child again, a pain in the ass but carefree and happy.

Josefine told me exactly all the details of what happened that day back when we were kids, I didn't want that child to be so different from the woman I fell in love with, but she was, yet my selfish self wouldn't let go of the past and I gave in to Josefine. Only to get discovered by Emily.

That day, was the worst day of my life. The look in her eyes and her words resonated so deeply with me that they were on replay every day.

My parents only wanted me happy and being with Josefine whose family is a friend of ours made them also very happy.
Stephan hated my guts after he found out what happened and only spoke to me when necessary, I was without Emily and thought maybe Josefine would fill the void in me.

But, the longest time I spent with her, the more uncomfortable I grew the more distant I felt from that kid I wanted to get close to so badly, everything felt fake.
But I did that to myself, I had to bear the consequences.

I was going to propose to Josefine, why? Because I wanted our relationship to be like the one I had with Emily, and I thought a ring might do it.
How the hell am I supposed to understand relationships?

That's when I had the second-worst day of my life.

Flashback:

I was sitting in my office with a pile of work in front of me yet no power or will to do anything. I sat there playing with the box of the ring in between my hands.
Suddenly, the door opened

"Hello, Lucas," she said sitting down on the chair in front of me.
"Hi Veronica, long time no see"

" Yeah, I was walking past here and I wanted to come to say hi"

"Well hi then" we exchanged a few glances before her eyes landed on the box between my fingers.

"What is that?" She asked.

"A box" she rolled her eyes. I might not be doing something but I still don't have time for you.

"Is it a ring?" I didn't answer. And she took that as a yes.
"Wait are you planning on proposing to Jose?" The sound of her got a little higher.

"Yup" I answered shortly.
She stood up looking angry
"You can't do that. You can't marry her" she started screaming again.

Oh, here we go again.

"Ver, you need to stop your obsession with me"

"Oh don't flatter yourself, I'm already over you. But you can't marry her"

Her voice got higher which resulted in Stephan joining us to watch the show.

"Ver, what are you doing here? What's going on?" It's really hard to tell that they are siblings.

"Lucas is proposing to Jose"

"And?" He asked.
Exactly my point.

"Don't you know her, she's just a lier"

"What are you talking about?" This whole thing sounds stupid.

"When you said you didn't want to marry me, I was heartbroken and I called my friend to tell her all about it, she was angry at you and that girl Emily too, and said that we should take our revenge, that you and Emily shouldn't be together. She came here and she managed to split you up. I thought she wanted to help but in fact, she wanted you all to herself. That friend is Josefine."

"Wait, what? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Please let me finish," she asked and I did.

"That night at the ball you were walking around with her she somehow managed to get your phone, there were some messages from Emily, she was telling you she's leaving and she told you something she just found out and wanted to tell you so bad. Jose got the messages and after learning everything she deleted them. After that, she told you that lie about being the little girl you were looking for."

I was confused, so many things to process at the same time.

"So you mean, Jose was lying the whole time and she is not the little one I met years ago? "

"No"

"But how can she know things that only me and this other girl know? " Upon asking that question, it finally clicked.

"No, it can't be. No. No " I was going out of my mind.

"I'm so sorry I never knew she would go this far, she threatened me not to tell you anything but when I saw the ring I couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore, you don't deserve this"

"Don't deserve this? You ruined my life. You ruined the one-shot I had at happiness, because of you the girl I love who is also the girl I have been looking for, hates me and wants nothing to do with me. What the hell am I supposed to do now, huh?

"Listen,  what they did what pretty bad, but you're a grown-ass man, no one forced you to cheat on Emily and sleep with Jose, you did that on your own so don't go around blaming others, you're as equally as guilty as they are" as much as I wanted to smash Stephan's head next to the table, a part of me knows that he was right.

I did this to myself and now I get to live with it for the rest of my life.

There is no way Emily would forgive me, and I don't even know where she is, and even if I do what can I say?

End of flashback...

Even seeing her with her own family, my heart is refusing to give up on her.
But the only thing I can try and ask from her is forgiveness although I know, I don't deserve it. But I need it.

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