new jersey: james got out again
idaho: who?
new jersey: the jersey devil
new jersey: now he's just flying around like a bitch
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kentucky: you think YOU have it bad? i have to deal with the pope lick monster on a daily basis
west virginia: i haVE FUCKING MOTHMAN
maine: i don't know why you guys are so mad. i love my cryptid
maine: her name is cassie and i go out on my boat to visit her every month
california: me and nevada put a cryptid through a divorce
utah: what
nevada: yeah we kind of share tessie, she's with me now
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georgia: why did you say divorce?!
california: cause we went to court for her. we used to share her but now i only get custody on the weekends
washington: omg
new jersey: oh SHIT OH FUCK JAMES GOT A KID.
alaska: lol
washington: whenever caddy gets a kid i blow the sea monster whistle
new york: therE'S A SEA MONSTER WHISTLE?!
new jersey: james isn't a sea monster, he's a carnivorous beast
oregon: then get a carnivorous beast whistle smh 🙄
florida: what if two cryptids had a baby
louisiana: how would they do the do, tho?
louisiana: they all look pretty fucked up
maryland: do you think they have kinks
delaware: please stop
massachusetts: they live underwater and the woods and kill people. i'd assume they have kinks
missouri: i hate this fucking family
YOU ARE READING
states do be texting doe 😳
Humor" i'ma do it , dude " " you absolute m a d m a n " " there's no way that god damn j e n n y is gonna answer the Phone " " 867-5309 " " hello? this is jenny how may i help you? " " holy piss " (I'm not sure if this is Hetalia or Statehumans but ei...
