𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞!𝐚𝐮) 𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙

CH. 33 ~ Peace Offering

"I forgive you," I tell him, lowering my voice, "but what made you feel this way towards me?" San refuses to make eye contact with me, keeping his head down.

"When I was a little kid, I grew up with my dad who was an alcoholic," he begins, taking a shaky breath, "He had retired from military duty but he never recovered from the things he saw which fed his addiction. The only memories I have of him were of him cursing and hurting me. He was abusive." San pauses, his voice catching in his throat.

"Take your time," I whisper to comfort him.

"When I was nine, he got so drunk one day that when he got into an argument with my mother he— he killed her. I ran to get some Royal Navy soldiers that were in the vicinity and called them but they did nothing. They just laughed and mocked me, spitting in my face even when I begged them on my knees to come with me. They didn't care about what would happen to my mom, they were just amused by the little boy crying his heart out for their help. When they finally got tired of me, they sent me running, threatening that they'd skin me alive if I didn't leave. I came back home to my mother's dead body and my dad passed out on the dinner table." My heart falls into the pit of my stomach as I hear him relay his story to me. Tears have gathered at the corners of his eyes and he fights to hold them back, failing when one rolls down his cheek.

"I'm so sorry for that," I express, somehow feeling responsible for his mother's death. I can see how his experience with the Royal Navy might have affected his view of me, understanding the irrational hate he'd show me. "I think I understand how you feel."

"How so?" Now it's my turn to take a breather before responding. I've never opened up to anyone outside the castle about this before but I feel the obligation to share after he just shared something so personal.

"As you might have heard, I am a princess. And for a good chunk of my life, I lived in the castle with my father. A place where I was supposed to be safe, supposed to be cared for. My father was my only sense of security and it was destroyed when the Queen started to use my body as a reward system for her top commanders. I was so broken, so traumatized by what those men did to me, the men that were supposed to protect me. I know how it feels to be betrayed by the people we call out heroes. To have our only sense of protection stripped away by the hands of the people set In place to protect us." San nods along, completely agreeing with me, and also looking at me with pity after hearing my revelation.

"That's why when I met Iseul and saw how abusive her father was, I felt the need to protect her. But in the end, I was just a coward playing the role of hero and I blamed it on you for not stepping in." We fall silent, listening to the sound of the waves and letting the cool ocean spray hit our skin.

"You're a strong person, you know," I speak up after a long period of silence. This comment makes him look up at me curiously, not understanding what I mean. "Even with your trauma, you did your best to defend someone who was in your exact position."

"But I screwed up. I got her mom killed. I—,"

"I was there too, remember? I saw when Iseul's mother was shot, I saw her face. As she was falling, the mother looked... happy. San, sometimes the only way to help a person out of their misery is to let them go completely. Even though it was an accident, you did Iseul's mom a huge favor. You set her free of her misery." I explain. He thinks about this for a minute before looking at me again.

"And what about Iseul? I left her with her dad. Who knows how she's being treated right now?" I purse my lips, thinking hard about the possibilities with her.

"Mm, after the beating you gave her old man, I'm sure he'd think twice before laying a hand on her." I pause, "Besides, Iseul looks like a strong young woman. I'm sure she'll pull through."