Yes or no - Book 1 - S.E.

Britney/Brittany

"All right." Mr. Schue said, as he started the first glee meeting of the week. "Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"

"He discovered America." Brittany said.

"Close." Mr. Schue sighed, as he picked up some sheet music to distribute to his students. "He did write an iconic chart topper Sailing."

"I have a bad feeling about this lesson." Kurt sighed.

"Never heard of him. Don't want to hear about him." Tina mumbled in agreement.

"Now, some people think of the term 'easy listening' as a bad thing but I'm gonna let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones and you guys are really good about putting it all out there but really good music can also be controlled and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience." Mr. Schue said, giving a sheet of paper to Emily as she raised an eyebrow at him as his excitement over something that — for once — not even Rachel was interested in. "It can let them come to you."

"How can you get caught between the moon and New York City?" Finn asked, after taking a look at the song Mr. Schue had picked for them. "They're like a hundred miles apart."

"Mr. Schue, if I may." Kurt raised his hand. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky-smooth adult contemporary. It's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand? That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly the McKinley High School Glee Club perform a number by — wait for it — Ms. Britney Spears."

At that, everyone cheered, about half of them already falling into conversation about what songs they should be performing. The only one who didn't seem too keen on the idea was Mr. Schue himself.

"Yo, Spears is fierce, yo." Artie said.

"Sorry. Kurt. Sorry." Mr. Schue said, causing everyone to stop and look at him. "No. No. No. I don't think she's a very good role model."

"But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew up with her." Rachel said and for the first time in what felt like forever, Emily found herself agreeing with the girl.

"She's literally why I wanted to become a performer." Tina added.

"I don't want to do Britney." Brittany said.

"Why no Britney, Brittany?" Kurt asked.

"Because my name is also Britney Spears."

"What?" Emily frowned as she and everyone else turned to look at her, absolutely stunned.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Mercedes asked no one in particular.

"My middle name is Susan. My last name is Pierce." Brittany started to explain as Emily and Quinn exchanged a look, far too accustomed to Brittany's insanity but no less affected by it at all. "That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany Spierce. I've lived my entire life in Britney Spears's shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."

There was a moment of confused silence, but Mr. Schue cut it short, pointing at Brittany as he spoke.

"Well, there you have it, guys."He said. "It's been decided. No Britney. Sorry."

"Thanks, Britt." Kurt rolled his eyes at the Cheerio. "Thanks a lot."

"Leave Brittany alone." Santana was quick to jump in her defense, as it usually happened.