Desires of the Heart

Chapter 19

[ XIX] Chapter 19
 

       "No, Master Aro." I whispered, breaking eye contact with him.

        His eyes flashed in sick pleasure. Releasing me, I immediately bowed my head; the humiliation too much for me to handle. "Excellent." I heard his retreating steps and the clap of his hands. "You are dismissed; Cyrus, Tristan, Genevieve. I have seen everything through Genevieve's memories and you three have been exceptional for this mission."

        As one, we rose and chorused, "Yes, Master Aro." Then we exited the throne room, Raquel's chittering voice becoming muffled behind closed doors. Once I was out of the area, I leaned all my weight against the wall. "Jesus, what did he do to you?" Tristan murmured in a low tone, raising a brow. "Mind-rape you?"

        I glared at his lame joke. "No. I just feel emotionally tired; talk to me tomorrow." I sighed, hauling myself up. Before I could take a step though, someone whacked me on the back

        "Genevieve! Long time no see!" Felix smiled warmly as he crossed his muscular arms over his equally-muscular chest.

        Finally, I managed a genuine smile; I really did miss him. "Yeah. How are you and Demetri holding up here?"

        "Good. We're missing our sparring partner." He winked and I rolled my eyes. "Seriously, though. Come to us if you feel like getting beat up."

        The twins beside us snorted. "I never knew she was a masochist." Cyrus remarked, his thumb and index finger coming up to hold his chin in contemplative thought. My eye twitched in annoyance.

        "Well, she's just full of surprises, ain't she?" His twin cackled.

        "Is she a virgin?"

        "Hm. I dunno."

        "Okay then, assuming that she is, who do you think took her for the first time?"

        "I think—"

        "Please, for the love of God, don't discuss my virginity in the open halls!" I whisper-screamed, mortified that they would even dare to talk about it as if they were talking about the weather!

        In response, the two grinned like Cheshire cats. Shaking my head, I sighed and started walking down the hall towards my room. "Leave me alone for today." I repeated, holding a hand up in goodbye. To my relief and utter surprise, they didn't utter any sexual jokes or follow me.

        Once I was in the safety of my room, I immediately collapsed onto the bed in a pile of floppiness. If that wasn't a word, then it is now. I crawled up to my pillow and curled up around it, closing my eyes to try and open my mind again. It didn't work and when I punched it, Genvius immediately came to me. Don't you see? She sounded strangely exasperated. Aro is mind-controlling you and I'm the only thing keeping it closed for you. The sooner you embrace me, your doors will open and everything will be clear.

        What proof does she have except for her words? For all I know this could be another mind game. Burying my face into the pillow, I scowled. This is the reason why I absolutely hate vampires with mental abilities concerning the mind and relationships.

        Genvius screamed and I flinched slightly at the shrill noise. Genevieve. Listen to me. Aro is not who you think he is! She pulled at her hair in frustration. Chelsea manipulated your memories and altered them so Aro can control you. He is not a saint, so stop treating him like one! The only vampire who you should ever bow down to is your mate; Caius!

        Whoa. Hold those rampaging horses there. Did she just say Caius? Why, and how, the hell did she even get past my barriers?

        I'm a part of you. I know your patterns.

        Relenting, I shook my head. But anyway, Caius? As in Master Caius? He couldn't be mine; he has Queen Athenodora at his side. Besides, he's royalty for fucks sake. 



        "Impossible." He whispered, his hand sliding down the column of my neck before dropping it. Stepping back a few paces, Caius ran a hand through his silky blonde hair. He gave another laugh and I feared for his sanity. 

        Was my love for him one sided?

        "What's impossible?" My voice came out harsh and demanding from all the stress my thoughts gave me. Through the haze slash mess of my brain, I felt my BlackBerry buzzing in my back pocket. I ignored it.

        Caius' scorching gaze nearly burned my mental state and I shivered unintentionally. "You." He muttered before he disappeared out the door. I stood there stupidly, staring at where he was just a second ago. Then slowly, my inner beast reared its ugly head.

        What the actual fuck?

        Who does he think he is, just leaving without completing his sentence? Well, he is the king. My subconscious pointed out with a ferocious hiss directed at me. Excuse you! You deserve it! You drove him off.

        Correction; I did not drive him off. He was the one that ended up fleeing out the door like a pansy after my confession. The thought of Caius in a flower costume —while dancing—caused me to snort in amusement. What. Miss Subconscious deadpanned. I really need to give her a name. . . what shall I call her. . . Personally, I like the name Raquel. It sounds devilish and cool— Absolutely not.

        Genvius then. 

        I scowled. I knew where she got the name from. She placed my name with Caius' and created a fucking ship name. In my point of view, it was stupid. Then my subconscious started to make these strange hippo sounds and I hated those sounds. FINE. Genvius it is. I rolled my eyes and Genvius started to squeal and clap like a seal.

        Whoa. How did I get so off track? I shook my head to clear all the random thoughts and just when I thought I was totally fine from the rejection, all the anger and heartbreak came crashing onto me like an anchor being dropped into the ocean. My emotional capacity was filled to the brim, causing me to slump onto the bed beside me. I let out a pained groan into the empty room.

        I hate Aro.

        I hate Caius.

        I hate vampirism.

        I hate the world.

        I hate myself.


        My eyes snapped open at the flash of memory, possibly given to me by Genvius. . . What game is she playing? I would never think of Master Caius in such a way. Never. Ever. But something deep inside of me contradicted that thought.

        "Genevieve. . ." Someone murmured gently and I bolted up to see. . .