Is That What You Want

Chapter 12- Sock Drawer

His voice was breathy, he bit into my neck lightly, resisting his urge to finish before me.

My climax hit, he made me moan so loud I was thankful his walls were thick. I dug into his back with my nails, surely leaving marks.

"Fuck!" He whimpered as he twitched inside me.

After we cleaned up he plopped down next to me on the bed. We were finally breathing normal, he rested his head on my breast and curled up onto me. I just smiled and played with his hair. It was always so soft.

After a few moments of just laying there in silence, Spencer started smiling.

"What is it?"

"Nothing I just, I love you thats all."

For some reason the way he was geeking over me made the butterflies in my stomach flutter.

"I love you too." I said as I kissed his head.

"Promise this is gonna last as long as the world turns."

"What? No I'm not promising that." I objected.

"Why not?"

"Because, I promise I'll love you forever. The world wont turn forever my love."
-
"Baby come on at least grab some toast before you leave."

"I'm not hungry, besides I have no time." Spencer said, fixing his hair in the mirror. "I'm already running late."

"Please just eat it on your way there or something, just to have something on your stomach. Come on, you're a genuis. You know breakfast is the most import-"

"Okay okay, you've convinced me." He said grabbing some toast and kissing me a few times. "I love you, I'll see you when I get back."

"I love you too, drive safe."

I thought about going back to my place, but it just didn't feel right. I knew Spencer was going to be gone for a few days, and I already miss him. It wouldn't hurt to just stay here for a little while.

I shurgged and went to his room to pick out some clothes. I grabbed one of his boxers and sweatshirts. As I was rummaging through his drawers for some socks I found something.

No. Spencer Reid is not dumb enough to hide something in his sock drawer.

It was a letter, from JJ?

Spence, I know I messed up, I'm not in town right now but I'd really like to go on a real date with you. I understand if I missed my chance. -Love JJ

What.The.Fuck.

What the fuck even is this? Him and JJ? I mean I always knew they were close but- wait, when was this written? Is this recent? Oh my God is he...he couldn't...Spence would never cheat.

No, that can't be it. I refuse to believe it. Wait no! Even if its not recent why has he held onto it in the first place? Does he have feelings for her? But he can't have her because shes married and settled for me?

Every atom in my body was telling me to just break down, right there in Spencer's room. Although for some reason it was like I was physically incapable of crying. I could feel myself breaking on the inside but on the outside I just had a blank expression on my face.

On top of all of this I can't even do anything until the team gets back. Their case could last weeks! No, don't be over dramatic Daniella. It's fine, totally fine.
-
Two days after Spencer left he texted me and told me that he was finishing up some paperwork and then he'd be on his way home. I did spend the entire two days at his house but he didn't need to know that. I waited for him, although I have been dodging his calls and texts so he was already worried.

After about an hour of waiting I got impatient, I decided to drive up to the BAU and say hello. I have no idea what I'm going to say, I tried rehearsing it on my way there but nothing sounded right.

"Spencer have you ever had feelings for JJ?" I rolled my eyes at myself. "Thats lame, hes gonna think you're insecure. So stupid."

I finally got to the BAU and I sat my parking space for about 10 minutes before finally building up the courage to walk in. I tried to look confident, but I knew I didn't.

I waited for the elevator to take me to the floor for what seemed like hours. The anticipation made my blood boil. Finally the elevator doors opened. Infront of me I see JJ and Spencer kissing. It was only for a split second but I definitely saw it.

I can feel the tears or rushing to my eyes, holding them back was about the hardest thing I've ever done. I close the elevator door and I went home. Not Spencer's house, I went home and waited for Emily.

After about thirty minutes I gave up on waiting for her and I just laid in my bed. Eventually whenever I looked up at the moon I couldn't hold it back anymore. I started sobbing so hard into my pillow it sounded like I was choking.

I cried and cried all night, I didn't even realize that the sun had came up. Eventually I muted my phone notifications because Spencer kept calling. I know he didn't see me, I know that he was just concerned as of why I wasn't waiting for him. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to confront him right now.

"Daniella! Get your ass out here!"

I hurried to the kitchen to see an angry Emily. When she actually took a look at my face hers relaxed.

"Wait, whats wrong?"

"Nothing Em."

"No, I heard crying last night but I thought you were watching TV. You have dark circles and frizzy hair. You look exhaused. What's wrong?"

"I can't do it anymore."

The tears once again started streaming down my cheeks. Emily came and hugged me. She smelled like Victoria's Secret perfume.

"You're okay Dannie, just tell me what happened."

"Its JJ! She...she..I found a note in his stupid sock drawer from her. Then I went and saw them kissing and...and-"

"What!"

I filled her in on everything that happened. She was just as surprised as I was.

The next night didn't go by any easier. I stayed up all night. I was exhausted but for some reason I couldn't go to sleep. I got up and went to work. I avoided Spencer at all costs and he seemed to notice.

He sat on my desk, I just looked at my papers.

"Dannie why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm busy."

"Please just tell me whats going on."

"You lied."

"What? About what?"

I stood up and looked him in the eye for the first time in so long. I felt the tears coming back. God shouldn't I have run out of tears by now?

"You said you loved me."

My chin started to quiver and I couldn't bare him to see me cry. Before he could say anything I walked to the bathroom quickly. I looked in the mirror trying to clean myself up.

"I can't believe it. Spencer Reid, a cheater."

I whispered to myself infront of the mirror.

-wow so that took a turn. feel free to comment requests, my inspiration has been running low.-