Chapter Thirty-Six: Just For Closure

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Her eyes glossed with threatening tears. Her lips trembled in rejection. Her voice an inaudible squeak as she dared to question my motive. I've warned her. I've told her countless times, I can't love. Still, she pushed for my heart, chiseling the ice that caved it. When the ice fell, so did she. When the rumors spread, so is her emotions. When I reached out, she was no longer there.

"I love you Michael, but I can't deal with this" She'd make an excuse.

I forgave her, cursing myself for allowing yet another woman to warm my heart only to break it. I warned her. She didn't listen. I opened up to her, but she closed the door. And now he wants to rekindle things. That's not how it works. I had to end it. Michael is no ones puppy, I released myself and released her.

The heart is a confinement that greed's itself with attention and desire. My heart ached and longed to be loved, but still it wished for desire as well. Then, I couldn't have both. I either had love, or I had desire. Since love was not of my preference, I searched for desire. I was ruthless, callous even. I didn't care for sweet words I wanted physicality.

Tatum and Brooke gave that to me. But it was Brooke who dared to step into my ring of fire and try to love me. Even in my rejection she still dared to try. I admired her, but it wasn't her heart I wanted. My heart had already been closed off. She continued to try until once again, she broke her very promise.

Now she returns for closure.

"Remind me on why you agreed to meeting her again?" Bill questions as I fuss with my curls.

I have one more day to spend here in North America before moving a few states downward. Because of this, I have agreed to "meet" with Brooke. Though it's more so, she's accompanying me on an social event.

Tonight's events consist of, a dinner with my lovely best mate, Elizabeth Taylor and her current Bo. I have no idea who the mystery man is, so when she contacted me through Bill about a private dinner for three, I couldn't help but allow curiosity to grant my lips the will to agree for my attendance.

I was initially nervous. I rarely venture out into the jungle of vicious flashing cameras and even more terrifying microphones with hungry news reporters attached. I feel my life of "seclusion & secrecy" befits my efforts on maintaining my image as well as my sanity. Especially with Jesse touring as well, I have to fend for my sanity on my own.

That's where Brooke came into play. Yes, she may have ratified my emotions as well as perplex me with her swing of emotions as well, but I know she's always been a good companion. Therefore, I invited her to tag along. With this dinner with Elizabeth and her "mystery Bo", she may get the dinner she asked for, while I on the other hand have a reason to not have to stare into her eyes for nearly two hours.

I am well aware that Brooke wants to talk, but from her past voice mails and even letters, I know he wants to have more than just a compromise that we may allow each other to move onward. I know she wants to rekindle a dead flame. I never wanted the flame to spark in the beginning and refuse to alit it now.

"It's just dinner with Liz. You know I couldn't go alone. I already have to meet Liz's man friend" I huff, turning away from the mirror.

Bill has been lecturing me about Brooke ever since the previous concert. He's acclaiming worry over Brooke's sudden interest in "solace between our relationship". I've assured him that this is nothing but a dinner with one of my best friends, and her boyfriend. Of course the only kicker is that Brooke will just so happen to be tagging along.

Bill isn't aware that I once was serious about Brooke. He doesn't even have knowledge of the fact that I even wished to escape to Las Vegas and ask Brooke's hand in marriage. I just couldn't and can't find a way to tell him. Ever since Tatum, Bill became judgmental of my decisions and even my judgment of other persons characters.

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