WICKED GAMES WE PLAY

PAIN AND PLEASURE!!!

Sidharth said whatever he wanted to and after that he was totally closed.

He was looking at Sana's face and waiting for her to say what she was thinking.

Sana-Thankyou for telling me i know that wasn't easy.

Sid-It wasn't but you don't have to think k tumko bhi in return kuch btana pdega mujhe..i did this to tell you that i understand why were you angry and ofcourse,main smjta hun.

Sana was immediately by his side and said

"Sidharth listen to me...i know i can be a handful at times but this is actually painful for me.
Mujhe ye toh nahi pta k isse aage hum kb bdenge but i sure as hell don't want to give up on us...not yet atleast"

His face lit up as soon as he heard that and sidharth visibly exhaled.

Sana-There is so much inside me,i have so much baggage sidharth, i am afraid it has made me this batshit scared of emotions broken bitch that i am.
Its hard okay...its harder for me than literally anyone i know...i am angry at you for breaking my trust obvious but i am more mad at myself for being scared and running away.

I remember walking down that road thinking why is my life so fucked up,why can't i have atleast one person that i don't have to worry about betraying my trust.

Sid-I know doll and i...

Sana-Let me say it...but when you helped me out of that attack and i had some time to clear my head i realized that i was so scared of explanations k i was willing to die of an attack instead of letting you help me.
And that is when i realized,my worst fear is opening up...its not trusting that no one can love me its the fear that i might have to confide in them if they do that breaks me.

I am sorry that you have to go through this...i am so fucking broken..i just..i don't know how to move on from this.

Sidharth hugged her and tried to make her calm down.

Sid-Shhh..its fine bba...please don't be like this...it will be fine

Sana was a mess in his arms,he made her sit down and offered her a glass of water.

Sid-You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.

Sana-I know...i want to but there is so much.

Sid-We can start slow my love...is there anything you wanna start from.

Sana*sniffing*I don't know.

Sid-Its fine come here.

He made her lie down with him and kept hugging her without saying a single word.

He has no idea when but after quite a while sana started talking and he listened without adding anything from him.

Sana-I was 5yrs old and mom was out on work...toh bhai ro raha tha.

He was not going to interrupt her.

Toh maine socha k isko chup krati hun but he wasn't stopping.

Mere paas doll thi ek toh maine socha i should give him my doll...toh main wo lene gyi.

Sid-There was no one with you?

Sana-There was but they were busy doing something else i think...now i don't remember what exactly.

I went downstairs to get my doll for him lekin wo darwaza na jam hota hai..i got the doll ofcourse lekin door bnd hogya.

I remember banging the door but ofcourse meri aawaz bahar nahi jaa paa ri thi...toh main rone lgi bahut zor zor se.