I was in a field. A vast open field with green grass as far as the eye can see. There was no one. I felt alone, I felt afraid. I started walking about this land and not a soul. Not a tree. Not a creature. I yelled if there was anyone there, no answer. I saw a door. Not the doors again! Heck what do I have to lose? I walked towards it sluggish and unwilling. I expected a memory, another one to remind me I am a complete idiot, like I needed more hints. Note the sarcasm.
As I was walking, a cat with a black coat scurried ahead of me, aiming for the door, wait huh? I had the sudden urge to run! I ran and ran until I am breathless and near the door, the cat a worthy contender. If only this dream-sprint actually helped me stay in realistic-shape.
It scratched me and I yelped! Note that I am against any animal cruelty, but damn this feline testing my patience!
"Fine you nasty cat!" I didn't kick it, I just shoved it, slightly (I kicked it). I used that deviation to my advantage.
And I ran, I reached the door, not hesitant, not afraid, so sure. I didn't even bother to examine it before entering.
That cat might be close by.
"Please not another memory." I pleaded with my subconscious.
I entered through the door, into my previous room in Santorini. What the...?
I walked cautiously into that white room I spent two months in. this isn't going to be pretty.
Darling who? 'Me' darling?
I looked around. Why is that voice familiar?
"Darling where are those damn sunglasses? I looked everywhere, can you check your bag?"
And it was him.
I hoped and prayed for it to be real. Oh how I hoped!
"Darling what's wrong? You look as if you've seen a ghost."
His warm eyes and tender tone. I sobbed. Is this real? Had fate cut me some slack and given him back to me?
"What?" I said choking on that one word.
"Oh darling! What's wrong? Babe why are you crying?"
"You're here...with me...I can't believe this. Zen I hope this isn't a dream, I hope that if I open my eyes you would still be here. I never dreamed of you yet here you are! Oh darling, how sorry am I! Such a fool!" I threw myself at him, my subconscious still remembering how he smelled, the tenderness in his touch, the familiarity of him close.
"Never dreamed of me? Ha-ha darling are you sure? I feel slightly insulted babe. Who else have you been dreaming of missy?"
I laughed through my tears, how I missed his humor, his ardor. After the last time I saw him, I never thought I would ever see him this way.
"Of course I dream of you. All the time, and they are always my favorite dreams. I never thought you would actually be my dream. That ultimate dream. I was so wrong to leave you, to desert you when I did."
And I hugged him, and I clung to him like a child seeking affection, like snow to a plane. I clung to him as if I needed him to breathe, to live. My fingers through his hair, palpating that this is real.
"Darling you are shaking! What's wrong? What happened? I was just looking for my sunglasses. You were packing the bags for the girls... and now this. What's wrong?"
YOU ARE READING
Escaping The LoopChickLit
At 28, Jillian realizes that her seemingly perfect life is a continuous mundane routine. she is fed up with conformity and wants change. Along the way, she battles depression, gets nostalgic, falls in love, and realizes that life and living happen w...