Repressed, Depressed and Possessed - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 7

The rest of that week dragged beyond belief. I had hoped to have fun with my brother and Hunter, perhaps even take my mind off how depressing life was for a minute or two, and enjoy the nice weather with two people I half-believed cared about me, but after my harsh words to the both of them that did not happen. Hunter abstained from being on his own with me as subtly as possible, while Andy constantly walked on eggshells around the house. I often triggered that reaction in people. Discomfort. Fear. Irritation. The whole package.

I, on the other hand, just felt guilty and self-pitiful the whole time, and dissociated with no consciousness most days. Julie would afterwards tell me that she 'took care of it', which was both reassuring and terrifying, since Julie is a selective mute to the outside world and yet, not one to mince her words.
               Moving homes also put a damper on the week. When I learnt that I had indeed been evicted from my flat, I had no choice but to move in with Mama like everyone so clearly wanted me to. I couldn't afford a new place, and even though Mama could easily have helped me out financially, she knew I was vulnerable, volatile and virulent on my own.
               When I first told Andy I would obey his persistent pleas to move into the big mansion that we grew up in, he was over the moon. Hunter was glad of it too. However, when the time came for them to actually help me move my belongings, the thrill faded slightly.

'Chop chop, boys!' Mama called as she opened the front door to my flat. A waft of staleness instantly hit us, and the fridge was emitting a less than pleasant smell across the living room.
               Hunter and Andy joined us, carrying lots of flat cardboard boxes and rolls of tape.
'I'm only moving across town, Andy.' I grumbled. 'You don't need half of those boxes. My stuff will fit in Mama's car -'
'Maybe it would, if you weren't a hoarder.' Andy replied in a similar tone.
'Let's not get grouchy already.' Mama sighed, starting to sift through the clothes sprawled across my flat. 'We clearly have a lot to do and not a lot of time before you two have to drive back to Leeds.'
'Whatever.' Andy and I said, before venturing out into the mess in opposite directions. Hunter hesitated to move, clearly unsure about touching my possessions without permission. I ignored him.
               'Ugh, you're gross.' said my brother when he braved opening the fridge. 'This stuff is mouldy.'
'Not my fault. I haven't been here in like two months.' I called from my bedroom. Andy replied with a grunt and started gingerly swiping old yoghurts and vegetables into a bin bag.
'How can it smell so bad? There's barely any food in here!'
'Oh man up, Andy.' Mama sighed.
               For the next two hours all anyone heard was the occasional grunt of disgust, yelps at spiders scuttling across the floor, and beckons for help taking apart furniture. Then, after I had been packing up my room for all that time, alone, Hunter appeared in the doorway, making me gasp and drop the box I was holding.
'A bit of an overreaction.'
'She's been raped before, Hailey. Leave her alone.'
'Sorry.' Hunter said before I could. 'I don't mean to keep scaring you. I...er, Mrs Harris said to help you with the tv?'
'Oh. Er, o-okay.' I blushed and composed myself again.
'Here.' He picked up the box I had dropped and left it on the bed. My throat was too dry to thank him, so I just sat beside the box, nervously watching him unplug my tv. Then he stood back up straight and eyed up the DVDs lying on the desk next to it. They were in a messy pile and I'm pretty sure the discs were all in the wrong cases.
               I heard Hunter snort as he sifted through the pile.
'What's so funny?'
'Oh, nothing. It's just, Girl Interrupted, Dirty Dancing, The Breakfast Club, Stand By Me, Dead Poets Society... There's a bit of a theme here.'
'It was the best era for films!' I said. I tried to smile but my mouth was trembling just a tad too much.
'You're not wrong.' Hunter turned back and smiled at me. I busied myself with folding clothes that I was planning to throw out anyway. 'Although, it does make this one stick out to me a little more.' He held up a film with a cheeky twinkle in his eye. 'The Titanic. Seriously?'
'What's wrong with that?' This time I had to suppress the grin.
'You're a bit morbid, aren't you?'
'Shut up.' I tossed a slipper at him but he dodged it. I had to make light of my love for the film, or else admit that watching it was the only thing that made me feel emotional for a justifiable reason. That sad truth would be a little too personal to share with an old friend.
'Hey hey, you'll hit the tv! ...Actually, if it's broken I won't have to be so careful when I carry it.'
               I just looked back down after that. I wanted to smile. I wish I deserved to.