Repressed, Depressed and Possessed - (Ruth Harris Series)

Chapter 3

'Thanks again for all your help Nurse Janet.' I said, picking up my bag and heading for the door. A week had passed since I woke up from my coma, and Jonathan had just come back to the hospital to take me to my mother's house. We hadn't spoken in two years, and we hadn't seen each other in nearly five. According to Sarah she had been to see me once or twice at the hospital. She said she would take care of me again, although I didn't trust her to commit for long. I saw her as one of those temporary Mums, who appear when everything's peachy but vanish when the going gets tough. This was not exactly a peachy situation.
               The nurse gave me a warm smile which only made me stiffen, but I understood the gesture and reciprocated.
               Jonathan was by the entrance talking to someone on the phone.

'Oh, got to go, yeah, talk to you later. Bye. Hey there! And who am I greeting today?'
'It's Ruth.'
'Marvellous. How are you feeling?'
'Been better.' I stared down at my trainers swiping at a stone, like a cat scratching the wall up for a mouse. Maybe if I scratched the concrete for long enough I'd hit a sinkhole. 'Can we go now?'
'Sure. Are you hungry? We can get something to eat before we go to your mum's?'
'I'm okay.'
'McDonalds it is.' I looked up at him. He was smiling. He was always smiling. Why?
'I'm not hungry.'
'Which is exactly what you'd say if you were.' Jonathan reached out and took my bag from me. It wasn't heavy. He didn't have to hold it.
'Why aren't you listening to me Jonathan? Just take me to Her please. Unless you'd prefer to take me back to my flat.'
'I think not. Let's go to Mama Harris's then.' His smile never faded. I didn't understand it.
               Truthfully, I was hungry but I didn't want to eat. Eating made me feel fat and I couldn't afford to lose any more self esteem and end up back here.

'Ruth,' Jonathan said, his eyes fixed on the road, 'I want you to know that we are having another group session this evening. Now I know you've only just come out of the hospital -'
'I'll be there.'
'Are you sure? Do you need a lift?'
'No. I'll walk.' I felt bad for snapping at him just now. I hated all and any support groups I attended but I wanted to make it up to him. He was an old friend.
'Okay. Thanks. I think it will really help you if you come as often as you can.'

Whatever.

Jonathan dropped me outside my childhood house. It was bigger than I remembered. I could see through the main window that the living room was a different colour now, but the set up was similar enough to ease my anxiety a little. I wasn't sure if I felt nostalgic or filled with dread at the idea of walking back into the home that had been lost to me for years.
               'How are you feeling Ruth? Is it uncomfortable for you, being back here?' Jonathan asked out of his car window.
'It's fine. I can handle it.' I said grumpily. I was trying to shake myself out of this mood but somebody in me would not allow it.
               Jonathan answered something but I didn't hear him. Just as I balled my fist to knock on the door, I saw Mama through the window. She was just as tall and fit as ever, wearing a frilly top and jeans to show off the figure she loved so much. Her hair was long like mine, but much lighter with a few strands of grey that I had not seen before. She was one of those women who always looked flawlessly unkempt, as if she wanted to give off the whole 'I woke up like this' look - as if she knew she was effortlessly beautiful. Her skin was naturally tanned and smooth and unblemished. Her very being radiated elegance.
               Once I had spotted her my gaze was paralysed. Our eyes met for just a second before the spell was broken and we both looked away, slightly disgusted.

Mama opened the door slowly as she eyed me up.
'Hi Ruth.'
'Alright.'
'How are you feeling?'
'Like a loose canon. You may want to stay away.' I barked sarcastically, pushing my way into the house and taking a look around. I heard her sigh something in Italian, thank Jonathan by name and close the door again.
               'How do you know Jonathan?' I asked. I dropped my bag to the hallway floor and walked straight across the house to the conservatory. This was new.
'We met at the hospital.' Mama answered. 'He was there a lot. Didn't he tell you? I went to see you a few times while you were in the coma.' I glared at her. She was biting her lip with sad, wavering eyes.
'Do you expect me to thank you for that?'
'I expect you to talk to me respectfully. I am doing you a favour here.' Her face hardened and she brushed past me on her way out to the garden.
'Sheesh, well don't let my attitude get in the way of all the favours you do for me.' I muttered under my breath as she strutted off, clearly wanting to get some fresh air on her own.