Game of Destiny

32.

"Fill me in. I feel like I haven't spoke to you in weeks." Ashanti babbled while applying more lipgloss to her already glossy lips, sitting across from me in the restaurant. "Girl, nothing new is going on with me. Same shit, just a different day." I shrugged. She went into her purse, pulling out some kind of paper. "For you." She slid it across the table with a hearty smile plastered on her face. Unfolding the paper, my eyes scanned over the words written.

"Why you giving this to me?" I questioned, confused. It was a flyer for a modeling gig which is usually Ashanti's style, not mine. "I think you'll be perfect. Des, you're beautiful. You need to embrace that." Ashanti said. "Yeah, but ...modeling?" I scrunched up my face; a bit thrown off. I never saw myself posing for the bright lights and flashing cameras.

"Just go, please. These people are looking for a new face and you might be that new face." She encouraged, "What do these girl's out here have that you don't?" She asked, though it was a rhetorical question. I can admit, wearing my confidence on my sleeve has never been my forte— however, I know for a fact I'm a bad bitch. And I'm not only speaking on physical appearance. I'm smart, a go-getter, self made, and unique. I looked down at the flyer again.

A sigh escaped my lips, "Okay. I'll check it out." I told her. She got all excited, clapping her hands. I shook my head, placing a French fry into my mouth. "What's been up with you?" I asked, looking over at Ashanti. "Nothing much. Getting to these coins." She said. "I know that's right!" I snapped my fingers. "How you and Hakim?" I curiously asked.

"Surprisingly, we're good." She cheesed. "We haven't been arguing, and he's been spending more time at home." Ashanti sounded more happy speaking on her situation with Hakim. "Well that's good. I'm glad he's getting it together." I smiled. Ashanti deserves the best. Even though Hakim does love her, he sometimes forgets that. "Thanks. Have you talked to Quan?" She questioned with caution. "Yeah." My shoulders shrugged.

"I ...um... was actually over at his spot a few days ago." I confessed. Her eyes widened, waiting for me to spill the tea. "No, it wasn't even like that." I chuckled, already knowing what she was making of the situation in her head. "He's going through some stuff and needed someone to be there for him." I shared little to no details. She gave me that "mhm" look. "Did he need you to give him so pussy too?" She cackled loud enough for the folks around us to hear. "Shut up!" I mugged.

"But no, we did not have sex. I'll keep it real with you, at first I wanted him to take it there after he did it what he did." I paused, small flashbacks of Quan and I replayed in my head while a grin could be seen on my face. "I'm glad we didn't. Truth be told, I still feel some type of way about him ghosting me after the shooting. It was like 'fuck me' and that hurts." I found myself venting easily. "I know I'm not one to give relationship advice." Ashanti held her hands up in surrender, "But what's stopping you from telling him this?" She eyed me closely.

A tiresome sigh escaped my mouth, "You know me. I don't like speaking on shit. I rather fall back and focus on me." I replied. "There's nothing wrong with having your guard up Des. But, it's good to also let someone in." Ashanti reasoned. Nodding my head, I slightly agreed while twisting my lips to the side. However; I refused to chase Quan like a stray dog. Only actions could dictate the foundation of our complicated relationship.

- - -
[Few days later]:

"These two weeks came hella quick, huh?" I watched Dontae pack his clothes into two suitcases. "Hell yeah." He laughed, "My mama woke up crying this morning." He said. I giggled, sitting up from his bed. I grew sad because things were beginning to set in for me. Dontae is like my best friend to me in many ways. I truly cherish the bond we share.

I got to be myself around him and talk to him about whatever. He listens, and he cares. I feel at ease when he's around; plus he makes me look at a lot of situations differently. He finished zipping up the suitcases before coming to take a seat beside me on the bed. "Why you looking all sad and shit?" He questioned, mushing my shoulder playfully.

"Cause... I'm gonna miss you." I admitted getting teary eyed. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. "I'm only one call away, Des-licious." He spoke in such soothing tone. I lightly sobbed, wiping my eyes before any tears could run down. I lifted my head, looking up at his side profile. Admiring his features, a smile displayed on my face. He turned to face me, looking into my eyes.

"Destiny, I care about you a lot." He expressed. He slowly leaned in, connecting his lips with mine. Instead of stopping him or pulling away, I kissed him back. He sucked on my bottom lip, gently biting it and causing me to moan out softly. Cut a girl some slack, I haven't haven't sex in so long. I could feel tingles throughout my body as our tongues swirled around.

I laid back flat on his bed as his body hovered over mine. We locked eyes for a split second before our lips connected again. His soft lips on mine sent twitches to my second set of lips. "Do you... want me to keep going?" He suddenly asked, breaking our kiss to look into my eyes. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Do I really want to go all the way? I just told him I don't want to ruin our friendship and I'm pretty sure having sex would do damage.

Then again, I'm so horny and in need of some good sex, I debated with myself silently. I looked over at the door, then back at Dontae. "If you don't want to we don't have to." He said. "No! Don't stop." I pulled him back down by his shirt, letting my vagina do the thinking for me. I removed his shirt, revealing his many chest tattoos that I was not aware of. My fingers traced the giant angel wings that went across the top half of his chest to cover a scar. He looked down at me while I looked up at him.

I cleared my throat, "W-What happened to you?" I questioned. He placed his hand over mine, holding his head down. I used my index finger; lifting his head up by the chin in order to see his face. There was a long moment of silence as I stared deeply into his light brown eyes. His nose flared up slightly. He sat up straight next to me on the bed. "I almost died, Des." Dontae spoke in a shaky voice, shaking his head.

"Uh, when I was around seventeen... my home boy and I, we used to kick it over at Bankhead Courts. Just two niggas minding they own business. One night, we got held up at gunpoint by two bitch ass older niggas. They wanted our shoes, clothes, money... everything. But my boy, Javari, he would never go out like a sucka." Dontae said.

"Shots started firing... I looked over to the left of me at Javari and he was on the floor, bleeding out. My first instinct was like "Help Vari! Save Vari!, that I ain't realize I got shot in the chest. I started getting weak; eventually passing out. When I woke up— I was in the hospital. Four surgeries within twenty-four hours." He shook his head as he detailed the gruesome story. I held onto his arm, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't remember nothing so, of course it took the doctors and my mom to refresh my memory. I just kept asking about Javari. "Where's Javari? Ma, tell em to let me see Vari. He's my friend, he was shot too" But then, after all the doctors left... my mom, she tells me that Vari didn't make it. He died on the scene." A tear fell from his eye as he wiped it away.

"I'm sorry. Sorry that happened to you... sorry that you lost a friend." I consoled Dontae though there were no right words to express my condolences. "Thanks." He sniffled, looking up at the plain white ceiling. I gripped his arm tighter. The two of us sat up in his room in complete silence. Sometimes, silence can speak volumes— right now; it's telling me that Dontae has been through so much to get to where he's at now. Knowing this pulled me closer to him.