Game of Destiny

5.

[A week later]:

I woke up to loud voices arguing. I groaned, slipping out of my bed. I opened my bedroom door, sticking my head into the hall. I could hear Deedra yelling, but I didn't know what for. I rubbed my eyes, walking down the hallway. I looked in between both my siblings. "What's the problem?" I waited for an answer. "He told Ma to leave." Deedra spoke with hurt in her voice. I looked at my brother in shock. "Darnell, is that true?" I eyed him intensely.
He shook his head yes. "No, use your mouth." I moved my hand around. "Yeah." He finally admitted. "Why would you do that?" I was in disbelief.

"Trina ain't nothing but a crackhead. I'm tired of seeing her passed out on the couch and everyone around here taking it lightly." Darnell vented. Deedra mugged him. "That wasn't okay. I know she's not the perfect mother, but she's still our mother." I reasoned. His eyes rolled before he looked off in another direction. "Just because you hate her doesn't make it okay for you to throw her out on the street." Deedra interjected.
"That's where she belongs!" He snapped.

"Stop it! The both of you." I raised my voice to stop them from going back and fourth.
"Darnell go get dressed." I looked over at my brother. "For what?" He asked.
"To look for mama." He chose to kick her out so it only be fair he helped look for her. Grabbing my towel from my bedroom, I walked across the hall to the bathroom. A steaming hot shower was needed to fully wake myself up. I stripped out of my pajama shorts and tank top. I turned the shower on, allowing the water to run. I sighed, rubbing my eyes again.

Darnell had no right putting our mother out like that. I understand he has issues when it comes to her however, he should of talked to me about his frustration instead of kicking her out. It wasn't his job to call the shots in this house. I stepped into the shower, immediately jumping back when the water touched my skin; it was cold as ice. I rolled my eyes, irritated while reaching for my body wash from the edge of the tub. Another bill due. There's no way I'm going to be able to enroll myself in next years semester. Not with the sacrifices I had to make.

Being an adult isn't as easy as it looks, especially when being the breadwinner for your entire family. The lights had to stay on and food needed to be kept on the table. College would once again, have to wait. I washed the soap off my body before getting out the shower. I brushed my teeth in the sink then left the bathroom. Once back in my room, I got dressed.

I threw on a pair of black leggings along with a regular grey t-shirt. I slipped my fur slides on my feet before spraying myself with Japanese Blossom spray. My natural hair sat in a bun. "Alright, let's go." I told Darnell, picking up my keys off the small coffee table. He huffed walking out the front door. Our first stop was Latrell's whore house.

We walked three blocks over until we made it onto his street. Grown men stood on the corner, and girls walked around half naked. We climbed the steps to the old brick house. I knocked on the door, waiting for an answer. A top less girl we were all familiar with answered the door. "Chanel is my mama here?" I questioned, looking behind her. I couldn't see much. "Des, your mama hasn't been around here in days." Chanel informed me. I sighed.

"Who the fuck at my door?" Latrell's voice got closer. He stood behind the under age girl, kissing her neck. I silently gagged in my mouth. It hurt seeing Chanel as one of Latrell's prostitutes; being that she's Nia's only child. Latrell is a sick man.
"What brings you here, DesDes?" He asked. I cringed at the ugly ass name he took upon himself to call me. "My mama, she here?" I tried sizing his six foot two figure. "No. She ain't been around." He admitted as he pulled a backwood from behind his ear. "You sure?" I watched him light the joint up.
I don't ever believe a word he says.

"I ain't got nun' to lie about." Latrell shrugged his shoulders, blowing smoke from his mouth.
"Look, if you see our mama— just tell her to come home." Darnell inserted himself. "Aight, young blood." Latrell nodded. We turned around, walking off his porch. "D, you check the motel-five. I'ma go to the day bars." I told my brother. He agreed before we split up, going our separate ways. I walked down the street, heading to the nearby bars my mama usually drinks at. My phone vibrated in my hand. I checked my screen, a small smile could be seen forming on my face.

Q:
Maybe u need to take some time for yourself😕
- Sent at 10:45am

Reply:
If only it was that easy ...
- Sent at 10:47am

Q:
Wym? U sum secret agent or sumn? 🤣
- Sent at 10:49am

Quan and I had been getting to know each other through text and phone calls here and there. He seemed like a generally cool guy. But my focus was elsewhere at this point. I entered the first bar on the corner. There was little to no people inside. The owner stood behind the counter. "Hey, Tommy." I greeted, standing on the opposite side of the counter. "Hey, Destiny! How are you?" He questioned. Tommy's Brew has been open long before my siblings and I came about. Most of the older folks in the community come here to hangout, drink and socialize.

"I'm alright." I answered. "Have you seen my mama?" I looked at Tommy, hoping he had an answer that could help me out. He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry." He looked at me with sympathetic eyes. "It's fine." I shook off the disappointment.
"But if you do see her can you tell her we're looking for her?" He nodded. "Thank you." I left the bar. I walked outside, looking down the street.
There was only two more day bars left to check. The hot sun beamed on my arms and chest as I continued to walk.

I entered Paula's, looking around the place. People were seated at the nice tables. "Hi, may I assist you with anything today, darling?" The hostess gave me a warm, friendly welcome. "Actually, I'm looking for my mother. Have you seen her by any chance?" I held my cellphone in front of the middle-aged woman, showing a picture of my mother on the screen. "No. I'm sorry." She responded after throughly scanning the photo. I began feeling helpless. "Okay, thank you for your time ma'am." I smiled, leaving the bar.

After checking the last bar and still coming up empty, I texted Darnell; letting him know I didn't find her. I was praying that she was somewhere safe, or at least passed out in some nearby shelter. I made my way back home. My phone rang in my hand. It was his caller ID. "Hello." I picked up on the third ring.

"Why you sound like that?" His husky voice flowed through the phone. I held my phone to my ear, looking down at my white gel polished toes.
"I can't find my mother." I said. "What you mean?" His voice was full of concern. As I continued my journey home, I explained the situation. "My brother... he told her to leave. And now we don't know where she is."

"Did anyone call her? Better yet, y'all need to track her location." He made a valid suggestion. I never told Quan the full extent of my life story, some things are better off kept to yourself— besides, I didn't know him that well to tell him the depth of my shitty life. "I'm sure she'll turn up soon." I took a deep breath before releasing. Just for once; I wish to have my normal mother back. I missed when she would cook us good home cooked meals and decorate the house around Christmas. I missed the active role she once played in our lives.

My mama was no longer the same woman. In a way, she sort of always had her messed up ways. But the drugs changed her permanently.