Breaking Thoughts

CHAPTER 21

Changing my swimsuit to a fresh pair of underwear I brought with me, I kept singing my head not to cry from hurt and anger. He was not worth any of my tears!

I can't believe I let him touch me. I knew not to keep my hopes hang high but yet I had let it slip thinking through out my mind someone like him would like and wanted to actually get to know me.

The few moments that happened between was all just a big fat lie. Luke's warning was something I knew I should of trusted but I thought it was because he didn't like Jacob. Now it wasn't hard not to believe all those damn gossips I heard.

As the time elasped, I waited on Jacob. It took a while to get up here and by the time he did, he was opening in the door and walking me very hesitantly.

"Do I look like your ex, Layla?", I ask calmly. I was angry, yes, but I wanted to hear some sort of explanation. Deep down I was quite angry but I stood there with my bag over my shoulder awaiting my answer.

It seem like a dawn awful long time before he could say anything but he didn't. I wasn't expecting that though but I thought he would have enough decency to give me the truth or something.

Instead, he stared me directly in the eye with his hands shoved deep down into his pockets with his blank of no sort of expression.

"Were you only with me because I look like.....her? Was all this fake. You pretend to like me all because you couldn't let go of her. You were playing with me all along. I'm sure girasol was her nickname too, wasn't it?." I continued.

" Please do me a favour and answers my questions. Were you only with me because I remind you of the love of your life? Do you even....like me.....at all?", I barely whispered looking him straight in the eye but all he did was stared back at me for a few minutes. Then as guilty as he was he look away.

Never have I once seen him look away from me. He always look me in the eye while he talk and that's exactly how I got my answer.

Silence was always the best answer. Often use to say the most within a great amount of time. It is always the power that it held without the need for words that's always grew to shatter a man's heart. So why would I even ask the questions I already knew the answers too.

"Take me home", my voice waiver from how hard I was trying not to shred a tear of anger, looking at the floor as if we were enemies.

I wouldn't dare give him the satisfaction of how he had hurt me. It was always the big girls that always hurt the most. It was always use that they choose to target, hunt and trap, hurting us in the end.

" Vane-", he tried to talk taking steady steps towards me.

"No", I stop him with my hand, "Take me home", I said much firmer for him to get the hint and luckily for me he did.

I didn't want to look him in the face when he open the door so I slip pass him quickly, taking less time to walk down the stairs properly.

With the intention of getting away from here I barely caught a glimpse of a smirk on Amelia's face and a sad then angry looking Sally standing in the living room.

" I'm sorry. Was it because of me..... That I mentioned Layla. I swear... I really didn't mean too. You just look a lot like her and- Is that why you like her, Jacob....because she look like Layla?!", Sally began to apologise to me sincerely then at the end she shift her eyes to Jacob angrily.

Look like she realized the whole point behind my existence

"Tell mother I'll be back soon."

••••••••

We drove in drop dead silence on our way back to my apartment. We didn't speak to each other. There was nothing left for either one to say to each other during the ride.

It didn't take much time for us to reach and by the time we did, I wanted to get this over with.

Before he could park to let me out, I pulled out the check that he gave me throwing it at him.

" I don't want anything more from you. Don't call me or text me and as for the project, I'm finish."

I slam the car door, keeping my manners deep down in my throat.

When I reach my apartment door, I immediately went inside locking the door instantly. Looking around my apartment after switching on the lights I saw the flowers sitting there in the vase looking at me. I wouldn't dare threw away those flowers, they did nothing to me and besides I wasn't cruel or stupid enough to throw away some flowers over a simple matter. So I suck my teeth thinking of the nickname for the flowers he had give me and carry on my way.

I put my phone to charge then walk into my bedroom to change into some shorts and a loose crop top.

I then dried my hair and combed it into four big plaits. Soon after, I was craving something sweet so I went on the search for some leftover profiteroles I had brought home from work last Friday in the fridge.

Eating them slowly, to savour the taste, I scrolled through my Facebook then my Instagram feed that I mainly use for stalking or talking to my friends.

It was then that I almost choked when I saw my sister in a picture kissing a boy on his cheek that she had recently posted.

I looked closely at the picture to see that it was posted yesterday. Was she crazy or insane? Ma would definitely kill her if she saw that or if anyone saw it and told her about it. Either way I believed that she would be off the hook. Besides she would be eighteen by the end of the year anyway.

With that sudden knowledge, I finish my profiteroles, drink some water and went off to my bed but not before praying.

Here comes Wednesday. The nest day...