Breaking Thoughts

CHAPTER 11

The weekend when by quite fast for my liking. I didn’t think I could face Jacob in school nor Luke when I do see them. I hoping they didn’t come to school today, Monday but unfortunately for me they did.

As I enter on the campus walking to the door in a black off shoulder knee length dress with some ballet flats and my hair let loose in its natural curly state, the first person I saw was Jacob.

But it wasn’t him alone standing besides his car, it was Amelia the same girl from the club last night. That’s weird, I wondered if she went to school here but if she did how come I never saw here . But come to think of it, I didn’t really pay enough attention to get to know anyone here really besides my friends and Jacob.

To me it looked like they were dating or something. It had to be that and yet you still kissed him like a fool you was.  With his back turn towards me and Amelia standing in front of him, it looked like they were talking. Her eyes switch from him to across the parking lot when her eyes hook with mine. I gave her short smile and a little wave but she just stood there watching me. It was like she was watching through me.

Well excuse me for being nice…

My heart pulled a little at the scene that was suddenly display before me. Amelia had her pouty red lips on Jacob’s, holding on to his neck tightly and pressing her body firmly against his. He stood rigid for a second before he relax and I’m sure he was kissing her back but I didn’t give my eyes the chance to see or believe it.

I knew I shouldn’t of put my hopes high and I was glad I did. He never told me he liked me but from him kissing me two times I thought a least maybe he probably felt a tiny bit of something for me but maybe I was…wrong.

There was probably no love for me out there with my size in this type of discriminating society, so I guess hardly anyone would love me intimately. This was always a problem with me growing up. Less attention was given to me anywhere I go unless they had intentions of just a one night stand but unlike me, my sister would always stand out. I didn’t pay much attention to it because I had accepted the fact of being alone for some time but I thought a least I stood a fair chance with Jacob.

Who was I kidding, I wasn’t his type, yes it looked like he liked girls with a little more flesh but maybe not my kind. Maybe he felt sorry for me or something or maybe he used me  hoping to get me in his bed for a night of filling his own pleasure. He can be blame but he was a man after all with needs.

A loud horn was blown my way breaking me from my thoughts causing me to quickly move out of their way. I send a little apologize to the driver and look to see Amelia already looking at me with smirk. She knew what I had saw and she wanted to rub it in my face letting me know Jacob was hers. How childish, but I got the message loud and clear. Maybe I’ll even play along with her game after all Jacob didn’t claimed her as his girlfriend.

With her just standing there smirking at me and I watching her attentively, Jacob turned to see what she was looking at. When his eyes spotted mine he frown deeply, creasing his eyebrows.

His eyes turn bit darker as he watch me but I pretended like I didn’t saw a thing, sending a quick smile I quickly walk to mine classes reaching a bit earlier. It stuck me that we had the same class this morning until art after lunch.

As usual I sat at the back, I liked it that way, the class wasn’t that big anyways as not much students took psychology class this year and it was easier that way to avoid people but it seems like it might be out of the odds of avoiding Jacob today.

On the thought of his name, he walk through the door entering the class room quietly. I pretended like I was going back over some notes from last class but was interrupted by a loud noise beside me. I knew he sat beside me, he wouldn’t miss it for the world. So I glance at him to the side to see his face in anger. It look like he slam his fist on the desk but what was he angry about or to who?

“ Girasol?”, I remember him calling me that. I Google what it mean and by the looks of it because he was calling me sunflower and I didn’t know why.

“Hmmm…?”

“Look at me”

I turn my head to his direction but I didn’t look at him my attention faced his chest. He dressed really nice. I couldn’t help but noticed the way the material of the white shirt hugged his body. Two buttons was left undid giving a glimpse of the tattoos scattered beneath his dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show his veiny forehands. I wasn’t ashamed of checking him out now but it was stopped when a finger lift my chin upwards.

I saw his light sliver grey eyes shining against my brown ones. His eyes were really pretty. I didn’t even realize his face was close to mine until I smell his minty breath when he talk.

“She means nothing to me, girasol “

“So why did you kiss her then?”

“She caught me off guard”

“But you didn’t stop her”

“I did but you didn’t see.”.

I was thinking about it, I really didn’t see what he claim to say he did. As soon as she kiss him I went deep into thought of all the possible reasons he might not like me and why he did what he did. There was this one question that was nagging in the back of mind I was inching to ask, I was afraid of his answer but I blurted it out anyway.

“Do you even like me?”, Looking him straight in the eyes with dread in my heart of knowing what is answer might be.

“More than you’ll ever know but I can’t”

What?

“Why not? I don’t understand. Is it my size or something? Is Amelia your girlfriend? What are you trying to tell me?”, I bombarded him with questions I was eager to get the answers too.

“I just can’t, girasol. It’s too risky”

“ Don’t call me that. I knew it was about my size. You could of just tell before…you kiss me…before you made me feel like something could be there”, my lip wobbled from trying not to cry. I felt really bad that he didn’t want me so I abruptly pulled my face again from his trying to hold in my tears. I was a big woman, I could handle this. Wiping my eyes from a few years that escaped my eyes. I smiled.

“It’s okay”

“Vanessa, that’s not what-“

“ I said it’s fine. Let’s just put this behind us and get back to where we were. Where we never knew each other in the first place or kiss. We can just finish the assignment and get it over with, okay?"

He didn’t get chance to say anything. It was time for class and people were already starting to come in sitting in their seats awaiting the professor to come in. I didn’t want to hear his answer either way. I didn’t want anything to do with him after this assignment. If there were anymore assignments to do done with him I would make it my personal business to beg the professor to change my partner.

My feelings for him would remain awhile before it gradually decrease day by day until I felt nothing for him anymore and I couldn’t wait until that happened.

•••••••

Time passed by till it was already time for lunch and I was grateful because my stomach was growling at me for skipping breakfast this morning. I wasn’t in the mood to eat any anyway.

As I walk to go the cafeteria to meet my friends and some food I was pulled into a empty classroom. I tried to scream to the top of my lungs but a hand muffled it, praying that my past wasn’t repeating itself again I struggle to get away. Closing the door and locking it, my attacker push me against the classroom door.

After a few minutes of nothing else happening, I open my eyes that was close all this time and look to see a pair of similar grey eyes staring back at me. Just as I was about to open my mouth to curse him Jacob kiss me. I thought we agreed to this well me but it looked like he agreed to after all he did said he can’t like me meaning he can’t date or even be with me. Damn…even I agreed with myself of letting this go.

I found the strength to push him off of me but he didn’t even budge. Instead he grabbed my wrists and pin them above my head then he push his way between my legs. I didn’t kiss him back like he wanted me to.

So he began to bite down on my bottom lip seeking entrance and he achieve his goal when I did open my mouth for him. His tongue immediately got inside my mouth tangling with mine.

This kiss wasn’t fast and hungry like the other two, this time he was taking his time. He kiss me more slowly and passionately. He massage his mouth with mine, taking his time to inspect every detail of my mouth and I was being honest I hated the way I liked it but I didn’t think I could do this anymore if I wanted to get him out of my head.

The hands Jacob had placed on my wrists he let them go, given the opportunity I push him away from me but that only earn a few inches between us as his hands firmly press on wall, either side of me . He didn’t get my message though, he only ease his head back a bit but he didn’t stop what he was doing. He proceed to kiss down my cheek to my jaw, making his way down my neck peppering kiss along until he hit a particular spot. I’ve never felt that kind of shiver before, running through my body immediately. It felt so damn good.

I bit my lip to hold back a moan that was sure to come out when he began to suck hard at that spot on the side of my neck. It send shots of pleasure to my womanhood making me squirm within his hold. This was a new found pleasure my body was experiencing for the very first time and it all felt too much but he didn’t stop there.

He lift one of my leg…where he got that strength was surely a blessing. Raising my dress up a bit to show some skin Jacob closed the remaining distance between us. Pressing his body into mine, I felt his hard on press into my womanhood at that angle.

I moan loudly closing my eyes from the impact. He began to grind his hips into mine causing me to release another moan leaning my head back against the door and arching my back to press myself more into him.

My core was throbbing and in need of a release. With a hard jerk of hips I heard him growl, making me let out my first strangled moan with a curse word.

“Oh…fuck…”

I've never curse before… what is this guy doing to me
“Fuck, girasol. Te sientes muy bien.”
[ Translation: you feel so damn good ]

The pleasure was all too much for me to bear for the first time, “Oh my goodness, p-please…”

I was at his mercy begging Jacob to help me and so he did. I felt my dress raise revealing my underwear covered with a bit of lace at the front to him but I didn’t care about that at the moment. I was glad I decided not to wear tights underneath the dress today.

I heard him groan and then kiss my lips twice before telling me to open my eyes and look at him. I did what I was told only to find my lower half totally expose to him, the embarrass hit faster rather than being totally okay with it even when I was in the moment a while ago. I quickly reach out to lower my dress but a hand stop me.

“Don’t, Eres más que hermosa. No te escondas de mí. Amo tu cuerpo”, Jacob stared intensely at me with lust swimming in his eyes. His eyes had turn darker almost black. I blush understanding the first and last part of what he said.
[Translation: you are more than beautiful. Don’t hide from me. I love your body]

“ You misunderstood what I said. I didn’t mean it that way, I love your size. I prefer my woman that way”, he continue with his famous smirk.

He should of said that before making me jump to conclusions. Yet it was odd to final know he liked plus size women. He didn’t look like a man who like women like that. This all run back to Amelia. I wondered if he was really telling the truth or trying to make me feel better.

“Vanessa?”

“Mmm…”

“Look at me”, and that is exactly what I did.

Jacob was watching me like he was luring his prey into his trap. With my dress bulge up to the top of my tights and my leg held securely in his hand, he continue to grind against me again. The motion cause me to grab his shirt out of the sudden surge of pleasure, biting my lip I continue to keep eye contact…although it wasn’t my usual habit.

“I love your eyes…I love your skin.”, Jacob slowly trail his index finger from my check, “ I love your lips, they are very tasty”, he continued, tracing the curve of my lip that I removed from beneath my teeth making me release a soft moan.

“ I love your breasts. They are so soft it’s like they were made specifically for my hands”, his hand trail lower passing my clavicle to squeeze one of my breasts in his hand.

“I love your thighs. They’re thick and juicy but…you know what else’s juicy…”

“What?” I breathed out.

“ Tu coño”

I didn’t know what Jacob meant until he slid his hand pass my belly to trail his finger between my legs to my womanhood. His finger trail from the top of my underwear following slowly down the path until he touch me through my underwear rubbing between my lower lips, find the bundle of pleasure nerves.

I harshly bit my lip again to suppress a moan when he began to rub faster. It felt really good when he touch or kiss me. From his hand trailing and caressing was enough to send tingles all over my body . I didn’t know how he did it but I guess it was from all the experience he probably had.

My hand latch on to his when he rub my buddle of nerves a different way. This was just…too much but Jacob only stop for a moment then continue to rub only this time he rubbed a bit faster.

“Please…st-o-p”, I manage to force out.

It was then I remembered I was still in school and anyone could possibly walk by and saw that the heat of the moment. I didn’t want to get kick out for indecent behavior, it was against the rules…in the classrooms.

“But you don’t want me to stop, do you?”, Jacob whispered close to my ear. His hot breath fanning my ear only adding near mental break down of pleasure I was having…almost. It made me want him more than wanting to stop.

Then he suddenly pulled away. A feeling had already start to form in my lower abdomen from all that pleasure he was giving me. It kept rising and rising until he stop. Is he serious.

“You told me to stop, girasol. It’s only fair that I listen to you after all we are in a class and it’s against the rules…if we get caught”. He smirked then kiss me on my cheek.

He placed my leg back on the floor and fix my dress. He moved away from me leaning on the desk behind of him with his arms folded across his chest making the shirt squeeze his muscles showing them perfectly even for sore eyes to see especially mine. All he did was smile showing his perfectly white teeth, watching me carefully while I stood there still in shock with a very throbbing sensation between my legs. It surely felt like it hurts and it didn’t stop. I tried to squeeze my legs together to try and ease the feeling but this didn’t go unnoticed by Jacob.

He just had to see me here trying to ease my pain from being left like this. But I couldn’t let him feel like he had the upper hand of me. Instead I smile at him, showing him my middle finger and left him standing their with that stupid smile on his face.