Dear Diary,
I've decided, after this entry, I'm not going to make this about dying.
I'm sick of having this little diary, which is always depressive.
It annoys me that I'm constantly writing about my -soon to be- death.
I'm better off writing about Niall, and the way his eyes light up as he sees me.
As a matter of fact, I made an important decision today.
I will not let Niall stop me from dying.
I have spent far too long in this hell, and quite frankly, I don't have enough time to get out safely.
Niall is an amazing person, I just wish I had more time for him.
Niall and I have been getting along, quite well.
We kissed.
Gosh, the feelings I get when his lips touch mine.
It's indescribable.
Niall is a dream. He's all I've ever wanted, all everyone ever wanted.
Tons of girls would kill to be in my position, other than the cancer.
There's always a negative to everything.
Niall's leaving in 2 weeks, starting today.
Which means, he's going to be here when I die.
It still feels so weird saying I'm going to die.
I know it'll happen, it will.
Whether I'm young or old, fat or skinny... We're all going to die.
Some sooner than others.
I can't stand to disappoint Niall, but this is something I can't change.
He won't forget about it, but he sure can pretend to.
It doesn't matter anyway.
Bit longer than a week, and I'll be dead.
I'm not sure I want to die.
I mean, of course, it's everything I ever wanted... But I'm not sure if I'm ready now.
Sure, I've been waiting for months, on top of months. I'm just not ready to let Niall go yet.
I'll see him sometime soon anyway.
It's not like I'm going to be gone right now.
I guess we never really know.
That aside, Niall is supposed to stay over tonight.
He wanted to get away from the boys, and he figured he'd spend some time with me.
Why not? I'd want to spend time with me too.
Nah, but on a serious note...
I guess he wants to spend as much time with me as possible.
I don't blame him.
I want to spend my time with him.
I've decided to cancel my doctor appointments for the next week and a bit.
I don't want to die with the pressure of doctors and hospitals.
No.
I've been in them too many times before, no more.
I've gotta go now, Niall's here.
Yours sincerely,
Hanna xx
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Woop.
Ahaha, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Holiday is going great! You guys should see my tan! You'd all be jealous!
Nah, it's great!
I'm having a wonderful time!
I'm so sorry I haven't had the chance to update more often! I've been out and about! It's been eventful!
I will try and update more!
I'll be on my way back in a few days, so you'll get more updates then!
Anyway,
Enjoy my sweet pineapples!
xx
