Robert Robert Robert

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God, Toni. Pick up the damn phone, Cheryl thinks, trying her for the third time. She decides to leave a message. “Hi, Toni, it’s me. Your GIRLFRIEND. I’ve been trying to reach you for hours, I have no idea where you are or what you’re doing.” She takes a deep breath in and releases it. “You weren’t at Vixens practice today, which is weird, because you’re a Vixen. And I went to Pops today but not with you, with some random girls I just met, which...” Cheryl slowly narrows her eyes. “Is weird because you’re my girlfriend…” What the fuck was going on? “Anyways, call me back if you get this. I’m worried you’ve disappeared off the face of the earth.”

-

A few hours later, Cheryl tries again.

“Toni, why aren’t you answering? I’d go over to your trailer but my mom has me on house arrest, and quite frankly, I don’t even know where it is, I’ve never been seen there before.” Cheryl taps her fingers on her desk impatiently. “This is just weird, okay? I feel like I never see you. I mean, we’ve never had a conversation about our relationship before, if you can even call it that, since we technically didn’t get the chance to call each other girlfriends until little miss Lodge confirmed it herself. And now that I think about it, we’ve never been on a date. If you’re alive, ma cherie, call me back.”

-

The call finally comes in at 11pm.

Cheryl picks it up before the first tone finishes ringing. “Toni, wh—“

“Hey babe,” Toni says sleepily.

“‘Hey babe’?” Cheryl says, growing angry. “I haven’t seen you in who knows how long and all you have to say is ‘hey babe’?!”

Toni groans. “I’m okay, I promise. I’m sorry for not calling you back, but there was this guy in the Southside who kept preventing me from leaving my trailer. I dunno why, he let Jughead and Betty go, but not me.”

Cheryl frowns. “Wait, what? Who was he? Do I know him?”

“He introduced himself as Robert Ager-Sacada.” Toni yawns. “Who knows?”

“Wait, I totally know him! Last time I tried to make a speech over the announcements he showed up and cut the mic! What a rude piece of shit.” Cheryl sounds heated through the phone.

“Babe, chill,” Toni laughs, “the point is, I’m okay.”

Cheryl sighs. “Also, I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with my mom, Nana Rose, and me next weekend. Nana is super excited, she’s been dying to meet ‘Laurel Topaz’s great-niece.’ Apparently they were good friends back in the day, I had no idea. Anyways, you can bring your family and everything. I really want to meet them.”

“No can do, Cher.” Toni’s voice says plainly.

“Why not?” Cheryl asks quizzically. “Is it about your family?”

“I have no family, actually.”

Five whole seconds of silence follow. Then Cheryl breaks it with, “you’re kidding, right?”

“Nope.”

“How can you—“

“I have no idea. I guess the universe just doesn’t want me to have a family…or a backstory…or anyone in my life besides my girlfriend who I never get to see. Weird, huh?” Toni sounds just as bewildered as Cheryl feels.

“Yeah…” Cheryl says after a short while. “Well…I guess I’ll see you at school then?”

“Maybe, if Robert doesn’t stand outside my trailer and bar me from showing up again. Look, Cher, I love you, but I gotta hang up now. I’ll explain later, or…maybe not, who knows?”

Cheryl opens her mouth to counter, but the line cuts out before she can say anything.

F*cking Robert…

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