Faded Memories

Chapter 26

I was seeing Ryan everywhere.

Everywhere.

He was present in my dreams, in my nightmares... he was at school, the supermarket, in my kitchen. I would be walking down the corridor and he would be there, leaning against a locker, and then just like that he would be gone... replaced by an entirely different human who actually attended our school. I was exhausted.

Everybody told me that too, that I looked exhausted. It was nearing the end of the week and I had finally convinced Carter to stay at his own house again, but being alone simply made the nightmares worse. I knew they would, don't get me wrong I still have nightmares if Carter stays over... but they're somehow... better? They never last as long, and when I wake up, I'm instantly feeling better just having somebody beside me. When I wake up alone, my brain can't process that I'm in reality and that's when the hallucinations are at their worst.

I'm not going to tell anybody that though... especially not Carter. He needed to spend time with his own family, because that's definitely what I would give the world for right now. Family always comes first, and I would make sure that he always put his before me. God forbid anything happened to any of them. I would happily suffer in silence if it meant his family were happy.

"You know, I was thinking we should all go away for a few days in the next break... like, rent a house or something and just live like the teenagers we are." Millie announced suddenly in the library out of the blue, as if she's had it on her mind for days. "It's not that far away the next break, and I think we all could use a little fun."

"Sounds good to me. My parents aren't going to be here anyway, so it's not like they'll know if I'm gone." Matt added, as his arm snaked around Georgia's shoulder. Carter wasn't here yet this morning, he was running late dropping Leo off at school as his parents were both away for the night. It was so weird for him to be late, he was usually earlier than most of us.

"I could definitely use a break right now, so I'm in. Although, I wouldn't be able to pay for it off of my main card... I'd have to give one of you guys cash-" I began, before being cut off.

"Are you a drug dealer now, Amelia? I can see you as one you know." Noah interrupted, pondering with his own thought as he looked up at the ceiling. I scoffed at the idea, knowing I would be too chicken to ever do anything remotely against the law like that.

"Hmm... maybe one day but sadly not today," I joked, wondering whether my life would be constantly under threat like it felt right now if I was one. "No, it's actually because Ryan usually tracks my card purchases... if he can't physically monitor me then he'll be doing it wirelessly. Did you not think it was weird that I have changed my phone number like three times in the past few weeks?"

"I just thought you were indecisive. Or that it might've been that time of the month." Noah eyed me cautiously, as if checking that it wasn't that time of the month right now. I hit him over the head as I stood up from our table, wondering how I was going to cope through the first period when it was Noah who sat next to me in it. I might actually smack my head against the desk today if his strange mood continues. I began to walk off, barely waiting for him as I felt him suddenly rush to pack up. "So I'm guessing it is that time of the month! Hey, Amelia! Wait for me!"

Towards the end of the day, my final class was also with Noah, having a whole hour of creative writing ahead of us. I loved this class, but at the same time trying to write creatively at the end of an entire day of lessons wasn't going to produce the best pieces. Noah had drained my batteries today, having two too many classes with him - this one currently included. I hadn't seen him since the first period, where he accidentally spilled his entire drink all over my desk - making it look like I had wet myself for the majority of the morning.