Faded Memories

Chapter 17

"So that's it? You see your own flesh and blood years after leaving, and you don't even say hello?" I spat, a surge of anger building inside of me. I can't believe she ran. She literally hates me that much, she hates me so much that she had to physically run away to no longer be in my presence.

A wave of silence followed, as she stared at the ground in front of her as if looking at me was like looking at Medusa. She had nothing to say to me, after all these years. I wish I wasn't surprised, but part of me had hoped that she would at least attempt small talk with me - I mean, was that too much to ask? Was I over dramatic being hurt by the fact that she ran away from me - is that a normal response for seeing a daughter you can't remember?

"Do you hate me that much?" I choked, a tear escaping as she looked up at me. "You hate me so much that you can't bare to look at me - you blame me for what happened to you? Do you blame my family for your pain?" I had so many things that I wanted to say to her, so much that I wanted to ask her but nothing was coming to mind in this exact moment of confrontation. I felt as though somebody had taken my tongue and ripped it out, the words no longer forming.

"I... I don't hate you, Amelia." She managed to stutter out, as she glanced at something behind me. I didn't care what she was looking at though, I wanted her to be looking at me. I wanted her to remember who I was - to remember all the memories that were stored up in my brain, battling to be freed.

"Are you sure about that?" I began, wiping away my few tears that I had been weak enough to let escape before forcing myself to act strong. "Because it kinda felt like you hated me the day that you left and it kinda felt like you hated me when you never tried to contact me again, oh and it definitely felt like you hated me when you never showed up to dad's funeral or even contacted us about him - even if you hated us, you had memories of him from before you had children, didn't you? How dare you ignore his death like that, after everything he did for you."

My lips were tight now, as my eyes glared in her direction. All of the anger I had built up over the years was spiralling around my body, my mind desperate to keep it at bay so that I wouldn't do anything rash. I had to convince myself to try and see it from her perspective, I had to - she was not guilty for our mum being gone, as much as I wanted somebody to blame, it was not her.

"John... John's dead?" Her voice broke as she properly looked at me then, searching my eyes for any sort of indicator that would tell her I was lying. I can't believe that she didn't know - does she not speak to her parents? To her old friends? Even check the news? Because, it was in the news for a pretty long time with everything that happened around it. Faking not knowing wasn't going to work with me sweetheart, not today.

"That's all you're going to say to me about dad? No, 'I'm sorry', no questions of how? No questions of when? You're the woman who gave birth to me whether you like it or not, I am your flesh and blood. You are my mother, even if you choose to ignore it-"

"I am not your mother!" She screamed suddenly, stepping forward as she pointed her finger in my direction. I was suddenly pulled back slightly by a strong pair of hands, just enough that she didn't hit me with her finger as she lunged. "I will get a restraining order on you, Amelia. I told you three years ago that I was not your mother and I will tell you again today: I am not your mother. I don't care what sort of memories you have because I do not have the same ones! I have a new life, so yes I do not want to interact with you and make cute small talk in the street if I see you - you are a stranger to me!"

I watched as she turned around, storming off in what presumably was the direction of her car. I could still see the outline of her body in the air from where she had just stood, the body of my mother that she had stolen and never returned.