"We all are, but trust that she is safe where she is. The memories you have and the values she has passed onto you will last forever."
*****
Here I am sitting at the repast after my mother's funeral just thinking. If there were one lesson to take away from these past few months, it would be that timing is everything.
You may be wondering what happened on that day.
Well... I'm the one who fired the shots.
When Mama A and I arrived at the house, we heard voices coming from the basement and we sneaked down there. I was horrified by what I saw. The last thing I would ever want to see is my daughter and husband having guns pointed at them, let alone at the same time, so I instantly went into fight or flight mode. Mind you, my adrenaline was already at an all time high.
I shot that bitch without a second thought. Now did I kill her? No. I'm honestly amazed at my mind for how fast I was thinking because this all happened within a span of about three seconds. I was this close to shooting her dead right then and there, but I aimed for her lower body instead.
The fact of the matter is, she has a daughter. I didn't want to be the one who caused Naomi to witness her mother die. Being a mother myself, I had to look at things in that perspective instead of just acting out of anger.
When I shot her, she immediately fell to the ground and Trey took the guns that she had. Mama A called the cops and they could've arrested her but we asked for her to be sent to a psychiatric hospital after her wounds are treated.
Y'all are probably thinking that was a terrible decision but hear me out! Even with all the shit she has done, I believe she needs serious help more than anything. Mental health is no joke and I could tell there were some deep, deep issues she needed to deal with. On top of that, people have constantly manipulated and misguided her. I can finally admit that Trey was right when he said the real culprits of this whole thing were gone.
Janay needs to find her true self, and I'm giving her a chance to do that so maybe one day she can see her daughter again and have a second chance at taking care of her correctly.
Trey and I have become Naomi's legal guardians while Janay was getting help. Naomi needed stability in her life, so we didn't wanna just send her away to a random family. She's been such a joy to have during these last few months and depending on how things go, we would love to adopt her. We'll see what the future holds.
Our lives have clearly changed a lot within these past few months and that terrible day has affected us in many ways. Kiara and Naomi were currently in therapy to heal from all that traumatic shit and to just talk to someone in general about anything going on in their minds.
As for me and Trey, we're taking things one day at a time. The fact that I could've lost both him and Kiara if I had arrived at that house just a few seconds later seriously fucked with my head. It took me a while to cope with that. Words can't even express how thankful I am that they're still here with me.
I was also thankful that I was able to birth two beautiful, healthy babies despite all the stress I was going through and my risky actions.
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