Write Me A Letter

37 | flowers

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN | F L O W E R S

BRIE DIDN'T KNOW HOW COMFORTING was the sound of Hugh's off-key humming until she went home feeling like the world crashed down on her, both literally and figuratively. Hugh was at the dining table. In front of him laid a still-in-progress puzzle and a cup of steaming coffee. From the time she lived with the man, Brie knew that in that cup was a sweet concoction with three creams and four sugars.

It was almost an ironic sight to see a different man sit in her dad's favorite seat back when he was still alive. The difference though, Brie's dad would've had a black coffee and a couple stacks of paperwork in front of him. With Hugh there, in all his quirky, rockstar personality, it felt different, but not in a bad way.

Hugh's humming of Journey's Don't Stop Believing stopped when he spotted her leaning against the dining room's doorframe and a smile broke on his face. "Brie-Brie! Had fun at school today? Your mom's gonna be home late and she asked me to cook you a nice meal so we're gonna order pizza."

Then as if realizing something, he looked up at her with playfully narrowed eyes. "You're not gonna tell, are you?"

Brie scoffed, almost gasping when she felt the pain kicked again but tried to mask it with a smile. "And lose the opportunity of eating greasy, fast food with the coolest step-dad in the world? No way."

Hugh grinned, looking very much satisfied. "Perfect. Pepperoni and Cheese, thick crust?"

"Spot-on." Brie tried to stand straight. "I'm gonna go upstairs now. Just call me when the pizza's here."

"Sure thing, kiddo."

The first thing that Brie saw right when she turned to head for the stairs was Hugh and her mom's wedding photo right next to the framed photograph of Brie and her dad. They were lined in wooden frames on a Mahogany console table under the stairs—Hugh with her mom, Brie with her dad, Hugh with them when they dined out as a new family for the first time at an Italian restaurant... and the last one in the right was a photo of her as a baby. Her dad was sat in an ottoman, that old seat that he loved before he had to replace it with the new one that still sat in their living room. She was wrapped in a light purple blanket and her dad's arms and he was beaming at the camera with tears in his eyes. Her mom was in their bed, looking at her husband as if he hung the moon and the stars.

It was the same look she had when she was looking at Hugh in the photograph of her wedding day.

That was when Brie realized, that just because you loved someone with your whole heart and soul and felt as if you had nothing left to give; that didn't mean that you couldn't regain a new space in your heart and love again; that didn't mean that you had to push people out of your heart to make space for the new ones and delete everything you shared. You change what they stood for in your life and the kind of love you could offer, but not the memories—never what you both have been through.

You just love more people; you grow.

She walked back to the dining room as fast as her aching body could. Hugh looked startled when he saw her with tear-stained cheeks, almost knocking the puzzle off the table. He placed a puzzle piece down as concern filled his face. "You scared me. What's wrong? Everything alright?"

She eagerly nodded and wiped the tear that fell on the third nod. "I just want to say thank you for loving my mom and coming into our lives. I'm sorry if I didn't welcome you at first but I want you to know that when I say you're the best step-dad in the world, I mean it. But most of all, thank you for making Mom happy again."

The smile that broke on Hugh's face bright. Brie saw how he tried to discreetly wipe his tears by pretending to pick up a puzzle piece and clearing his throat. Then, he rolled his eyes. "All that for an extra box of pizza? You teens these days—very clever."

Brie laughed. "Love you, Hugh-Dad."

"Quick, go to your room. I have to finish this one and hide the pizza boxes before your mom gets home."

She laughed again, but started to walk out of the kitchen anyway. She wasn't even three steps away when Hugh called her back. She swung around and gave him a confused look.

"I love you too, kiddo," Hugh said. He sounded the same way the first night she had dinner with him and he promised to take care of her and her mom. She remembered thinking he was just pretending and how angry she was when her mom held his hand over the dinner table. It was almost funny how different she felt right now.

"You're the best daughter I could ever have and I'm thankful for your dad everyday for letting me be a part of this family. I will never dare to replace him. He had built a family that I can never deserve, even if I could never really know, I believe he had let me love you and your mom as much as he did and that's more than enough for me."

Damn it, her nose twitched as she tried to stop herself from crying.

"All that for a box of pizza?" Brie teased, trying to fight another set of tears that threatened to escape with a hoarse chuckle. "Boomers these days—very clever."

A snort came from Hugh and he waved her off. "Go to your room. You look like you've been rolling around on your school's floor."

It was actually the school's parking lot, but close enough. Brie shot him a finger gun and went up her room. Her body still ached and each step she took before laying carefully in her bed was heavy. But for the first time in a really long time her heart was light.

A succession of pings from her phone made her frown. Picking up her bag from the floor with her foot, she pulled her phone to see at least thirty messages from a new group chat that Paula created with Troy, Xander, Ollie, Jean and her.

They were discussing what happened earlier and it prompted angry reactions from both Ollie and Jean. Their friend's pregnancy was discussed briefly and how she was doing when Paula mentioned that pregnant women shouldn't be too angry. Then, it was back to that scene at the parking lot and how Troy felt that Simon was in a rough patch. Ollie proceeded to blame Xander and they continued arguing in capital letters, typographical errors and exclamation marks.

When Ollie called Xander an asshole and Xander in turn called Ollie a douchebag, that was when Brie felt it necessary to interfere.

Guys please stop ok? It's over now. Let's all just move on. Let's all have our dinner and rest. We can discuss this tomorrow.

Both boys left it on read. Brie sighed when another ping came. This time it was a private message from Xander.

Maybe Ollie's right. It's my fault for not defending you earlier and letting my friends bully you because for a long time I didn't know what to do with how you felt for me. I know better now though and I'm determined to make sure that I follow through what I know and feel that's right. Goodnight, Brie and I hope you feel better.

Speechless, Brie turned off her phone and turned to her side. The blue flowers on her white bedsheet looked so alive and happy, and there she was, laying on their printed happy faces with a frown on her own.

The words "if only" rang in her ears until it felt like she was gonna go deaf. If only he said this earlier, if only her feelings didn't change, if only it was right, if only Izzy wasn't there.

All of them, they only made her more confused and upset. Because she knew to herself that even if she wanted to wish for things to be different to continue living a life in love with Xander, she now knew that she didn't want that anymore.

She just hoped she was sure of what she truly wanted.