Write Me A Letter

59 | fourteenth

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE | F O U R T E E N T H

         THE ANSWER BRIE GAVE to Troy was a fast and big no. It was an obvious and logical answer. Why would she reach out to Ollie when he made it clear that he wasn't at all interested in acknowledging that she exists? She was all for repentance and righting her wrongs, but Ollie was a different case altogether. 

With Ollie, she didn't want to be wrong again and left all by herself to deal with the repercussions.

With a frown that was deep as her voice when she said no, she left the corridor fuming. Quick steps led her out of the building and into the field. She heard Paula and Noel's confusion; Troy calling her name, but he was wise enough not to follow her.

She needed to breathe. With a long and tired sigh, she leaned against the building, watching her classmates that were on the field. They all wore animated and grinning faces as if leaving this place was such a huge weight off their shoulders. She frowned when she remembered what Troy suggested again. Maybe leaving this place could really be rewarding. Even a nostalgic person like her wasn't spared by this place's bad memories. It suck in every way possible.

A ball went zooming past her, just a breath's away from hitting her in the head. She was so startled that she couldn't even yelp. The soccer ball rolled down the sidewalk, bouncing in gentle thuds and stopping short when it hit a handrail by the ramp that led to the pool.

The pool.

"Sorry!" A short girl with black braided hair and round eyes exclaimed. She waved at her and picked up the ball with ease. Brie remembered her as a junior who hung around seniors. All she could do was nod and place a hand to her pounding chest as the girl ran back to her friends where a tall guy with blonde hair welcomed her with a hug as if they weren't together just minutes ago.

Her heart felt like it was being squeezed. Inadvertently, her eyes traveled back to the ramp. It was now empty of the soccer ball, but for some ironically funny reason, it felt as if it was her heart that was bouncing and rolling down the ramp this time.

Should she go in? She had all the reasons to leave. Ollie was no longer a part of her life and days from now he would forever be a stranger.

Stranger. The word had her tightening her hands on her bag straps. His warm smile flashed in her head, the image of his pretty blue eyes and how he always called her Brie-Brie. The name always had an affectionate tone to it, a tenderness that could only be heard from him.

Could she really part ways with him without trying to at least have a decent conversation?

No, she couldn't. With a deep breath, she marched her way down to the poolside. Her heart was pounding so fast it felt like it'd rip her chest. But as soon as she heard the sound of water splashing, the unmistakable sound of someone going back and forth through laps, she halted. She took a peak inside, hiding behind the post.

Ollie was all by himself, his blonde hair hidden underneath a royal blue swimming cap. She saw his head bob up and and down as he did butterfly strokes, pushing his feet against the wall to start again, the sound of water accompanying him as he made his laps.

It was ironic that she always thought of him as the wrong boat that she clung onto while she thrashed in the ocean of her mistakes, and here he was, a great swimmer who had no idea how much he made her drown.

"Why don't you come in there and say hi?"

Brie startled and turned to gasp at the boy who spoke too closely in her ear. "Xander," she breathed, holding a hand to her chest. "You startled me."

"Sorry," he said, taking a step back. Brie noted how he left a wider distance between them compared to how he used to stand next to her before. "I thought I was supposed to be quiet because you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding." She actually was but she was too ashamed to admit that. "I was just checking the pool one last time. I didn't know someone was in here." She raised her brow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here?"

Xander held up a bag with three balls and swung it in front of her. "I'm gonna return these to the basketball court and I have to pass by the pool to get there."

"Well, I'm just walking around."

Xander's smile told her that he didn't believe it. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"I—"

"Just a yes or no, Brie. It doesn't need  have to be backed up by a thousand reasons or justification to make your answer sound right. Either way, there isn't a law that's gonna punish you for your decision."

She pursed her lips, glancing at Ollie who was still oblivious to them. "I do want to talk but I don't want either of us to regret whatever the outcome of our talk could be." She gave Xander a sad smile. "I'm okay now. Not as much as I was before all the drama, but I don't know if I'm willing to risk all the progress I made for a chance of getting more answers or a civil relationship with him."

"You think it's not worth it?" Xander pointed his chin in the direction of the pool. "It's not like you're asking him to be your boyfriend."

"I don't know, Xander," she said. "Maybe it's pride or my stupid ego. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I have to reach out to him first when he's the one who hurt me. Why does it have to be me who has a million questions to ask and not him? Why am I the one burning with need to have this talk when I don't even know what I'm hoping for."

Her head started to spin with the anger that started to rise in her chest again. It used to be a numb ache that kept her awake some nights, but today, as she stood in front of Xander with her hands flailing with each word, her body felt like she was burning again.

"Why doesn't he even care?"

"To be fair, I don't think he doesn't care, Brie." Xander's eyes were sad and mellow along with his smile. "If he doesn't, he wouldn't try so hard to stay away from you. I know that he's an asshole and there's no excuse for what he did, but I think he's scared. Ollie has always been like this. Whenever he feels cornered or when something triggers him, his face turns blank and he just shuts down. He pretends nothing happened or it doesn't bother him. Indifference is his coping mechanism and if you want answers or a decent talk, I doubt he's gonna come to you first. He probably thinks that you hate him which he deserves. The question is though, is this conversation worth more than what you've gone through?"

She couldn't answer him. Smiling sympathetically at her, he placed down the bag with basketballs and opened his backpack. He pulled out a yellow notebook with a creased cover and a pen. He handed them to her and she took the items with a confused frown.

"What are these for?"

Xander nodded at the items in her hand. "If you can't take all the steps, it's just fair to have him meet you halfway, right? You can write him a letter—it's how you can express yourself best, anyway. You can just leave it next to his bag or phone. I know he leaves it on a bleacher, or if you're worried that he'll spot you, I can do that. If he doesn't reach out after that or do anything, then at least you tried. Does that sound okay?"

She gripped the notebook and paper tighter then glanced back at Ollie who was still doing laps. With a deep breath, she turned to Xander and hope that her decision wouldn't be something she'd regret. "Okay."

-
Hello! This will be the second the the last chapter of wmal. I hope you're as excited as i am to see the conclusion of the story :)