Write Me A Letter

21 | wish

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE | W I S H

         PAULA ANDERSON WAS ALMOST BRIE'S sister. As an only child, she was the closest thing that Brie ever had as a sister and best friend all rolled in one, and though the title was never really tossed around in verbal words, it was felt throughout their friendship. A shoulder to cry on, a confidante and partner-in-crime—those were what Paula was to her, and even if Brie was definitely sure Paula would not want anything to do with her anymore, she wouldn't give up without a fight.

Brie stood outside of Paula's locked door. It was the only door in their two-story home that was bright yellow. It was the product of one of Paula's rendezvous during her rebellious days. It caused quite a riot at their home when Mrs. Anderson found out. That was probably the most frightening day in Brie's life, minus that time when she confessed her feelings to Xander, or maybe that scene earlier at the grocery store with Ollie.

Ollie. She shook her head, ridding her mind with thoughts of the boy with floppy ash-blonde hair and guarded dark blue eyes.

Brie's eyes traced the lines and edges of Paula's closed door, smiling softly at the dark and uneven patches of her friend's handicraft. It was a bad first try at spray paint, but it still looked very much Paula through and through.

Now, everything felt like a lifetime away.

A shuffling sound from her right caught her attention. Smiling reassuringly, Mrs. Anderson raised two thumbs at Brie before disappearing into her room. Brie grinned, feeling a sense of comfort at the sight of the older woman in a dirty apron. She looked exactly like Paula, minus the pink highlights and crop top. Brie just wished Paula had her mom's understanding nature too.

With a deep breath, Brie raised her knuckles just as the door swung open.

Paula was tapping her socked foot on the carpeted floor. A rhythmic sound of thud thud thud filled Brie's ears as she watched a toe stick out of a wide hole in Paula's polka dot socks, revealing a bright yellow nail that was very much Paula. "Well, are you gonna wait forever to knock or what?"

"H-how?"

Paula nodded at the camera in the corner of the ceiling that Brie failed to notice. "Installed them last week. It's connected to my phone because Mom sucks at anything that's invented after 2005."

"Can we talk?" Brie asked, lips pursed with mild nerves.

Paula tilted her head as if thinking about it, then after a beat, she finally nodded and opened the door wider for her.

Brie released a breath of relief. Paula's sunflower yellow room smelled of pizza with pineapples inside. Their favorite oddity that only the two of them in their group understood. Just like that, a smile blossomed on Brie's lips.

Noticing her expression, Paula's face soured and she hastily tried to hide the box of pizza under her bed. "It's nothing."

"I smelled that. I saw that," Brie said, crossing her arms. "Don't try to hide it from me now."

Paula matched her stance, raising a brow at her. "So what if you saw that? I can eat pizza with pineapples whenever I like. It's not like I asked for your money to buy it."

"Yeah." Brie nodded thoughtfully. "But pineapple on pizza is our thing. You were thinking about me, weren't you?"

Paula opened her mouth, argument ready at the tip of her tongue and embarrassment coloring her pale cheeks red. "No fucking way I'm thinking about you. I'm mad at you. I'm pissed off. I don't care. Shut up."

"Paula."

"What?" Paula snapped.

"I'm sorry," Brie said, walking over to her friend. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I'm sorry that I suck. I'm sorry that I didn't know about what happened with Simon."

And she meant each word. She knew she hasn't been the best person to Paula—consumed and drowning in the thoughts of Xander, Izzy and now... Ollie. There was no excuse and she knew she had the tendency and bad habit of making everything about her. It was pathetic and awful, and she wanted to make things right.

"I'm sorry too." The words sounded just above a whisper but Brie heard enough to pull a sobbing Paula in her arms. Brie tried to rub Paula's back in circles as silent cries escaped from her lips. "I didn't mean to lash out on you. I was just so mad to see him and I felt that I wasn't thinking straight. Everything came rushing back! That night at his place, what he said."

Frowning, Brie pulled away from Paula. "What do you mean that night? Did you guys hook up?"

Another batch of tears was what she got as a reply.

"Paula," she said, grabbing onto her friend's shaking shoulders. "How–what? But you're..."

"A virgin?" Paula supplied, mock laughter escaping her lips. "Well, not anymore. Just like that. And it happened twice. God, I'm so stupid."

"I didn't know you guys were dating," Brie said, unsure of how to deal with the situation. She knew how much virginity mattered Paula. When they were still fourteen, Paula promised herself that she would wait for marriage before sleeping with a guy.

And Simon? Of all people?

"That's the thing!" Paula threw her arms. With determined steps, she walked over to the other side of the room and kicked the foot of her vanity. The mirror shook and a tube of mascara rolled to the floor. "We're not even dating. I just let some dickhead take my virginity. Come on, Simon? Simon of all people. I hated that guy and now he regrets something happened between us." A squeak escaped her lips, "said it was just quick lay, not a commitment."

That was it. Brie closed her eyes, counted to ten and tried to relax her hammering heart but all efforts were futile. She only opened them to see red and tear-streaks down Paula's cheeks. Her hands curled to fists, teeth gritted face red with burning anger.

She took quick strides toward Paula's door but her friend stopped her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back to that party and will talk to Simon." Her words were sharp, clipped and heavy with distaste. "How dare he call you a quick lay. Is that how he is now? Is this how they all are?"

"Brie, please." Paula grabbed her arm. "It's fine. I'll be alright. You don't have to go there, please."

"No, Paula." Tears rimmed at Brie's light blue eyes. She didn't care what people would say about her: attention whore, someone who has superhero-complex, the fuck she cared. She would not let another guy from that group, nor from anywhere treat her best friend like shit. Paula deserved better. "I don't care if I failed to defend myself from an inconsiderate douche like Xander, but I will never let Simon get away with doing this to you."