Struggle With Abuse!!!!

Out of Control

What a hang over I have. I have to remember to slow down on my drinking before it kills me. Now where did I put them pills I have a headache and in pain. I am glad I finally don't have to share a room with no one anymore, cause I don't need babysitters and tired of having people ragging on me about my habits and that I should stop cause I am hurting myself. I love going out and having fun and releasing my angry and frustration and losing myself, and if drinking and taking something relaxes me then I will do it cause I am a big girl and I can handle myself and I know when to stop, so I thought.

As I got up and went to the bathroom to look for my medicine and a glass to take my medicine I walked out of the bathroom to bedroom to see someone in my bed. What the hell happen last night???

"Good morning" Dolph smiles.

"What happen last night Dolph?" I asked nervously.

Dolph laughing " Let's just say,its a night we both will never forget and we both wanted, you were great last night and I love the way you keep saying my name."

"Plz say we use a condom" I said as I was about to cry.

Dolph got up and started to hug me,but I pushed him away. "Of course we use a condom twice" he said concerned. I calmed down.

"Glad we used a condom Dolph". Dolph was getting dressed.

"Well I better get going, you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah I will be fine" I said shaking my head. I open the door and he left. Sitting on the bed thinking what the hell did I do last night to end up with Dolph?

Later that day I went to the gym trying to avoid anyone so I can clear my head but every time I tried my phone kept going off with calls and texts so I quit and went back to my room and let the hot water loosing up my stress I had, I know what I needed I needed it bad. Got dressed in my skinny jeans n pink tight shirt and let my hair down and sandals and went to the club.

This time I am gonna slow down and watch what I do. As the night rolled on and drinks kept coming I was feeling great. I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey dollface, what are you doing here?" Seth asked.

I was surprise to see him so I turned around and gave him a big hug. "Hey I could ask you the say thing." I said laughing. "I thought clubs wasn't your thang" I was yelling to him.

I pulled him to the dance floor and getting close to him and I could feel his breathe on me and it was starting to turn me on. I started to lean in to Seth to kiss him and he kisses me. It was a hot and passionate and I can't believe how much I wanted him right here right now. I couldn't believe this, because he is my best friend, not a random guy, and I won't just do anything with him. We finally stop kissing and went to get a drink. I have to get myself to calm down from what was happening. While I took a drink I took something to calm me down. A half hour later I was feeling great,I was ready to go back to my room. Sleep is what I need and Seth.

Woke up the next morning with a strange feeling that I wish I didn't do. I turn to my right expecting to see Seth but it turned out to be Dean Ambrose. What in the hell did I end up with Dean out of all people? I quickly jumped out of bed and got sick. Just as I was flushing the toilet Dean walked in with that smirk.

"Hey babe, you alright?" I looked at him with frustration.

"What the hell happen last night Dean?" Dean gave me that smirk that makes you want to wipe it off his face.

"Let's just say, you and me did things that I am sure that is illegal in lots of states." I got angry with him.

"Don't you mean you took adavantage of me?" Dean started laughing at me and I got even more angry.

"Your laughing at me Dean? This is not funny."

"Hey babe,your the one who came on to me when Seth turned you down." As he was laughing, "Hell you were all over Roman also but he won't take advantage of you either cause you were so messed up,so how could I say no when you came to me?" He was laughing like it didn't bother him.

I started pushing him and crying and yelling' " You could have done the same thing and turned me down also, why didn't you?"

Dean started to scratch his head and he said, " Hell babe to be honest I always wanted to sleep with ya again, and well when you came onto me I didn't find a reason not to turn you down,it was everything I knew it would and been more."

"For one, stop calling me babe and for two I wouldn't have come onto to you so I must have been that drunk and high and three I hope you wore a condom." I said angry. "

I never leave home without them". Dean smirk.

"Please get dress and leave now Dean" I asked nicely.

When he did ,I sat down and cry thinking how could I do this twice and with all people Dean Ambrose? Am I really out of control? Do I need help.?

Hours later I got a knock on the door. It was Seth and Roman and Dean. So I open the door to let them in.

"So what can I do for you guys"? I ask tiresome.

Seth spoke first. " Well Patty,we are worried about you real bad,all this partying you have been doing isn't good for you and its hurting you."

"Seth I understand what ur saying n I am fine,so don't worry,I won't be partying anytime soon, waking up with Dolph and then Dean woke me up trust me". I said weakly.

"Patty its not just that,its the drugs also,you have to stop your gonna hurt yourself or kill yourself and its not safe mixing it with alcohol"Roman was getting frustrated.

Dean just sat there with nothing to say which was good cause we have already said enough. I got angry with all of them and started yelling at them. " I am fine,and you need to mine your own business alright you guys are the reason I got my own room your nagging got to me..so leave me alone". I open the door and they left.

"Well guys,you know what this mean right". Roman said angry. Seth nodded and so did Dean.