Struggle With Abuse!!!!

Harshness

I walked over to Seth. I touched his arm cause I was concern, because he's never been quite like this and it worried me, he was always direct when he had something to say. Even touching his arm he didn't move. So I walked in front of and grabbed his hands and looked at him.

"Seth what is wrong? It's not like you not to say something and then stop. You know you can tell me anything right and I won't get mad." I looked at him.

Seth let go of my hands and cupped my face and said. " What I am about to tell you will baby, I know it will break your heart and our relationship forever, all because I was selfish and jealous, but I did what I did because I love you." Tears started coming from his eyes as he moved his hands from my face. "Patty...this is hard to say and I don't want to really say it because I love you and don't want to lose you , but at the same time I do wanted tell you because I don't wont you to love me on a lie either. "

I started to get confused and worried, cause this isn't Seth. He always gets straight to the point. " Seth, just tell me please. You don't know how I am gonna react unless you tell me. " I pulled his face to look into my face. " We have been thru a lot Seth, nothing you can't say that can't be solved or resolved or talked out. Please just tell me Seth. I love you. "

Seth started to get angry. " You really wanna know? Well I will tell you. Patty I have loved you since the first day we met, and yes I was scared to tell you and I admitted that. And yes you were too and you also told me that. But once Roman came into our lives you suddenly just like that forgot your feelings for me, like you just didn't care. I was so angry and disappointed when you stayed with him that night and I knew right there and then you two decided to be together, but you convinced me you two were friends and I believed you cause I trust you and you were. I tried so many times after that to tell you, but I kept getting scared, thinking you didn't have those feelings for me. But you showed them, but it was me. Roman and Dean even try and tell me that, but I was stupid to believe them, so I walked away and looked else where. But the feelings are still here Patty and I can't fight them and I want you, but at the same time I feel guilty on how I finally got u, because I don't really deserve you. "

" Seth what are you talking about? You do deserve me, you are here and finally told me how u really feel and now I know and I feel the same and I love you also. Seth only thing I did with Roman that night was fall asleep in his arms that is it. I was also in love with you back then, but you also didn't show me how you felt so I just let it go. " I started to let the tears go.

Seth back away either mad or anger I couldn't even tell the difference. " Well It doesn't matter because whats done is done. And it can't be taking back, and I can't live with the guilt, but I can live with the hate I won't lie and say it won't hurt but I love you to much to lie to you. And I care and love Roman and Dean to much as a brothers to lie to them also and if they hate me also, well that is the price I have to pay for lying and losing everything so be it. "

Seth took my hand and we walked out the room and knocked on Deans door and he opened up and Seth asked him meet us downstairs and then to Romans door and he opened his door and he looked like hell and Seth asked him to meet us downstairs and I can tell he hesitated at first, but said sure.

We were downstairs waiting for Roman to come down and kinda of scared about what was going to happen. I sat next to Dean and laid my head on his shoulder cause I was tired and cold then he pulled a blanket around me and laid my head on his chest and held me to keep me warm and told me everything is alright. I loved how he always played with my hair. Seth is walking around like he is losing his patience or having second regrets. I love how handsome he looks when he tries to be serious and I laugh. He stops and looks at me with that smile. Walks over to me to with that handsome smile.

"May I ask you while you are laughing Patty?" He comes over rubs my face softly.

"You silly, I love how you are over there walking around and acting like your serious and your so handsome. Admit Seth your adorable." I laughed.

"I have to admit it Seth. you are adorable when you try to be serious." Dean laughed also messing with Seth's hair.

Dean and Seth got up and started wrestling around and playing around and joking. I couldn't help but laugh and start to cough real bad and got up to get some water but was stop cause Roman must have already heard me coughing while he was coming downstairs and handed me some cough medicine which surprised me and he asked me if I was alright and said yes. He came and sat next to me on the couch and watch Seth and Dean still carrying on and I still laughing and coughing but mostly coughing and Roman telling me to drink some water, I just ignored him, plus kinda of hard when your watching your best friends being funny. Roman gets up and tells those two to stop carrying on. They looked at Roman laughing, but then Seth realize why he called everyone down here. He got up and cleared his throat and I handed him my water and he was about to drink it when he caught hisself.

"Sorry, Seth I forgot." I looked at him sadly.

He gave her a hug. "Patty, it's alright ( he started smiling )."

"Seth, your silly and I love you." I smiled and sat down next to Dean.

"Alright Seth...you asked us all down here what's going on? Because a few hours ago you were just upstairs you were punching the hell out of me, now what do you want?" Roman got annoyed.

I looked at Roman and said. "Give him a chance to talk." And I smiled at Seth.

Seth looked down at the floor. "I am not sure how to say this, but um...shit."

I could tell Seth had a hard time saying what he wanted to tell us, so I go up and walked over to him and held his hand and looked at him. He looked up and looked at me and then at Roman and all the sudden he got an angry looked on his face out if the blue and pushed me out of the way real hard to where I fell real hard and got on top of me holding my arms down. He got in my face and straight in my face and he was red in the face and he made sure everyone heard but mostly me with no remorse that I could hear.

"It was me. I set you up with the pills. I wanted you and what did you decide? You chose Roman just like the slut you are. I used you, that right I used you. How does it feel? I poured my heart and soul to you and yet you admit you still love Roman. And"

I interrupted him crying. "Seth I do love you, how could you do this ( coughing hard )to me? Why."

Seth interrupted me. " Don't say that again slut, you hear."

Just then Roman got ahold Seth and pulled him off of me, and Dean lifted me off the floor and took me upstairs. Went to see what's happening downstairs...

MY OH MY....IT'S GETTING INTENSE WHAT'S GOUNG ON DOWNSTAIRS NOW.??? I REALLY THOUGHT SETH REALLY LOVED HER OR DOES HE STILL??? MAKES YOU WONDER WHO IS THE REAL PROTECTOR NOW...