Teach Me ~ L.L.

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This was written for Harriet201908362


Thank you for requesting it! I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x Trans ( F to M ) Reader

Warnings: mentions of transphobia. 

A/N: I want to let all of you know, this is a safe place. If you are trans, I support the ever-loving hell out of you! If you aren't accepted where you are, just know that I accept you! You are who you want to be! 

I was also bumping the Black Panther soundtrack while writing this and after I finished this, I got up to stretch and my bones cracked like glowsticks. Enjoy!

Word count: 1503 words 

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No one could believe it. 

Not the Avengers nor the Asgardians. 

     You had managed to make Loki, the god of mischief, lies, and tricks, fall in love with you. A Midgardian. And a boy nonetheless. 

Let's go back to the beginning. 

     You had brought him food a couple of times while he was imprisoned. You even attempted to make small talk. He tried to intimidate you, which failed miserably. That's what struck his interest in you. You never seemed to be afraid of him and you always made an attempt to treat him like a human being, not the monster he was made to be. And you, for some reason, had a curiosity about the god. There was something more to him, yet he never showed it. You could see the pain in his eyes. It was pain from being alone. Pain from being different/ So you made it your goal to befriend him and comfort him. 

     You began to visit more frequently, staying longer and longer each time. That was until your team noticed your frequent absence. So they confronted you and forced the truth out of you. They were upset at first, but then Thor realized that you may actually be doing something to Loki. To prove his theory, you all had gone back to watch the tapes of his cell. The first few showed him being hostile and harsh towards other agents. The next few showed that he was more mellow. Not bothering to make them feel uncomfortable, but still giving them snide remarks. The final few revealed that he was completely docile towards the agents. Not even bothering to look up from his book when they came. No snide remarks, no malicious glances. Nothing. Your teammates were astounded. How did you manage to tame a monster like him? 

     It wasn't until a few weeks later that you realized that you had romantic feelings towards him.  It was the middle of the night. You were sound asleep and so was everyone else. That was until F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted you that something was going on with Loki and that he specifically requested you. So there you were. Running down halls and stairs, dressed in your silk p.j.s, trying to get to Loki's cell. When you did finally arrive, what you saw broke your heart. Loki was on the floor. Sobbing and struggling to breathe. You went against every protocol then and there. You opened his cell, cautiously walking inside, unaware that F.R.I.D.A.Y had alerted the rest of the team that Loki's cell had been opened. You had approached him and sat down next to him. Your movements were slow and cautious. You didn't know what he was going to do or how he would react. You called his name and he buried himself into your side. He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his head on your chest. That's when you realized that he was having a panic attack. He was profusely apologizing to you and begging you not to go. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him even closer, whispering words of affirmation and comfort. You didn't even notice your friends at the door, weapons in hand, still dressed in their p.j.s, staring at you. 

You fell asleep in each other's arms that night. 

     The next morning, you both confessed your love for one another. And you managed to convince the team to let Loki at least have a tiny bit of freedom which was being let out of his cell. You were told that you were in charge of him and not to let him out of your sight. That wasn't a big problem since Loki clung to you every second of the day. But you loved him. The rest of your team was hesitant about your relationship at first, but when they saw how you two interacted and cared for each other, they supported it. Steve and Bucky took longer to grasp the fact that two males could openly date but they came around. The public didn't find out and had yet to find out about you and the god who destroyed half of New York. Everything was nice and you were loving life. 

     But no one knew your little secret. Not even Fury himself. You were trans. Born a female, but transitioned into a male. You never felt like you had belonged in a female's body. So when you reached the age of 17, you started your transition. It was a long process and your family didn't support it. So you dropped them and continued on. You cut your hair, went on testosterone, and even got your breasts removed. You still had the female anatomy down south and were debating on whether nor not to get the reassignment surgery. You had come far and were proud and happy to finally start to feel like you belonged in your body. You were so close to being done with testosterone too. You only had a few more months left to go and then you wouldn't need to give yourself shots anymore. But it was only a matter of time before Loki would find out. 


     It was one of the days where you had to give yourself a testosterone shot. You woke up before Loki and did what you had to do then threw away the needle and the small empty bottle. You left the bathroom after you finished getting ready, kissed Loki, who was still asleep, on the forehead, then left to go to work. 

     Loki stirred about an hour after you had left. He lazily got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. While he was brushing his teeth, he let his eyes wander. He scanned over the shelves filled with products, the glass shower, the tiny bottle in the trash can- wait. A tiny bottle? He stopped brushing and bent down to pick it up. He examined it closely. On the bottle, there was a small label and that label had information. What really piqued his interest was the big word "testosterone". He knew that it was a chemical found in a male's body. So why were you injecting it into yourself? He grew worried. Getting dressed quickly, he left your bedroom and made his way to the elevator, the tiny bottle still in his hand. Before he could press the button though, it opened. You were inside. 

"Oh hey Loki. I see that you're up. I forgot my datapad. I just need to grab it then head back to work." You emerged from the elevator, pecking Loki on the cheek as you go to walk by. Before you could get far, he grabbed your wrist. 

"Something wrong?" You asked him. 

"What, my love, is this?" He held up the bottle. Shit. 

"Loki you might want to sit down for this." You led him to the couch and sat with him. 

"Loki, I want you to keep an open mind about this okay?"

"Yes, my love. But please, tell me you aren't sick?" 

"No, I'm not sick. My body just lacks testosterone and I need to give myself shots of it to keep it up." 

"Why does your body lack it?" God, he was so innocent.

"Loki,"

"Please my love, spit it out. You're making me worried." 

"Loki, I was born as a girl." His face morphed into one of confusion. 

"But, you're a male?" 

"Yes, yes I am." 

"I don't get it. If you were born a female, why change yourself into a male? I'm not disgusted or angry with you, love. Please, teach me. I just want to understand." Your heart swelled. You were glad that he wasn't disgusted and wanted to leave you. You faced quite a bit of hate for being the way you were. So hearing that made you very happy. 

"Well, it goes a little something like this..." 

You explained everything to him. Every little detail and fact. He was astounded and amazed by the time you finished. And he was proud of you. Not even caring that you had female parts. He loved you. He also made a promise to end anyone who made harsh comments towards you or misgendered you. You, of course, laughed and told him that he couldn't kill anyone, which got a protest out of him. 

You couldn't feel more loved than you did with the god of mischief. 

     

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