Can I Hold You

65 - not the time to call me baby

Lucy Winters

"I'm so sorry Lucy" I heard Harry sniffle and I looked at him sitting on his knees next to the bed. I furrowed my brows.
"Harry what are you talking about? What are you sorry about?" I asked and he looked up at me and I reached for the lamp on the nightstand.
"I- I  I kissed someone" he said and I felt like someone hit me so hard in my stomach that I lost all the air in my lungs.

"W-what?" I said and he nodded.
"I am so sorry baby, I didn't, I don't know why I just... I'm so sorry" he sniffles and I sat up in the bed and just stared at him.

"who is she?" I asked and I couldn't exactly put my emotions to words right this second. I knew I was hurt, I knew I was angry.
"I don't know, she was standing next to me at the bar and then we started talking and she asked me t-to d-dance it was all innocent and then she just kissed me. She kissed me, and I kissed her back and then I snapped out of it and pushed her of off me.. and I'm i-I am so sorry baby" he said and I don't know how to react to this. Cause I for one didn't understand why he was dancing with a stranger, like why would he say yes to that. And second why the hell did he kiss her back.

"Can you please say something" he said and I shook my head.
"I- I don't know what to feel Harry" I said and he shook his head. "I can't understand why you would do that" I said and tried to wrap my head around what he just told me.
"I- I don't know" he sniffled again and I was starting to understand what just had happened. The man I thought until three seconds ago was the love of my life, or well he still is but he just told me he cheated on me.
"You cheated on me" I said and sat up and looked at him. "I- I I know" he said and I wiped a tear that was rolling down my cheek.
"How could you let this happen?" I asked and he looked up at me.
"I, I just got caught up in the moment, and then I pushed her off.. and asked myself what the fuck I was doing" he said and I shook my head.
"So you what? Forgot that you had a pregnant girlfriend waiting for you at home?" I said and raised my voice a little and I saw the color drain from his face and shook his head.
"Lucy, baby.. I would never forget about you- I" he started but I cut him off.
"Now is not the time to call me baby" I said and he looked so sad I almost couldn't stay mad but I was. I was so angry right now.

"Sorry, I no I didn't forget I was surprised and I just kissed her back by reflex and then when I realized that it actually wasn't you I stopped" he said and I shook my head.
"Harry you know what, I want you to go sleep in the guest room and then tomorrow morning I want to go back home" I said and he shook his head.
"Please Lucy, I'm so sorry" he said and I shook my head.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I forget what you actually just confessed that you did tonight" I said and he nodded.
"Maybe we can talk tomorrow then?" He asked and I nodded. "Yeah maybe" I said and wiped my tears as he stood up and walked over to the bathroom and got his toothbrush. He stumbled towards the door and I could tell he was very intoxicated by the way he walked.
"I love you Lucy" he said before he closed the door behind him and I turned the light off and bursted in to tears. I didn't know how long it took before I fell asleep but I knew I cried until I did.

When I woke up the next day I felt nauseous and I sat up and walked fast over to the bathroom and sank down on my knees and threw up. I fucking hate morning sickness, I'm so tired of this shit.
And as I sat there on the cold tile floors leaning my head on the toilet seat I thought back to last night.
I honesty didn't know what to feel, I felt empty and sad. I felt betrayed and really fucking hurt.
"Lucy are you okay?" I heard Harry's dark raspy voice say and I looked up and he looked as tired as I felt. His dark circles gave him away, and his eyes was bloodshot from crying and I'm guessing he's been doing the same as I did last night. Crying myself to sleep.
"Does it look like I'm fucking okay?" I snapped and he shook his head slowly.
"D-do you wanna talk?" He asked and I shook my head.
"No Harry I don't, I want you to pack your stuff and leave..." I said and he shook his head.