𝑰 𝑺𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑪𝑯𝑬𝑫 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑽𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑬 || 𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝑆𝑎𝑛

Chapter 40

Julia PV

"I start.."
I say, sitting on the bed and patting it to ask him to sit with me.

Saying the truth I don't really have much to tell, but I think he can calm down by doing so.

As soon as I asked him to talk about our past his eyes got lost.
I know he doesn't want to talk about it, so I hope that if I start he can find the courage to do the same.

"So..I think you remember my parents divorced that summer and that I wasn't on good terms with my mom.."
San nods sitting in front of me, and we both cross our legs.

"...well that's why I left, I decided to follow my father to Los Angeles.
I thought it would be the right solution, but I regretted it very soon..
I was alone, completely, at school I couldn't make friends, they made fun of me saying that I was a fake American made in Asia ..."
I still remember the nightmare of the first years of high school, some kids are little devils on earth, I have no doubts about it.

"..And at home it was no better.
My father was never there, he was forming his new company and  worked continuously, I used to see him very rarely. He often left for weeks and I was alone at home.."
San listens to me in silence, and caresses the back of my hand, as if he wanted to comfort me.

"For a period of time I was close to an abyss.
I said to myself, Julia or react or sink, and so I did, I reacted.
When I was in Seoul I had no hobby, I spent every afternoon with Yunseo and I didn't have time to get bored..
So I had to find something.
I started with DIY, sewing, cooking..but I sucked at everything, all in the same way"
It still amuses me to think of all the chairs I painted and the skirt I tried to create.

"Then the books came and it was those who saved me. I spent hours getting lost in my fantasy and traveling in different worlds. Then, well.."
I don't know if I should say this to San, it embarrasses me a little, but I would like him to be honest with me too so..
"..I opened a blog where I reviewed the books I read."

"I knew you were a nerd!"
San comments, laughing at me.

"Ehi! I opened my heart to you. Nobody knows about the blog.."
I say with fake offended tone.
When he laughs his expression becomes incredibly cute and his dimples appear, I could never get mad at him.

"Although I haven't updated it since I got back here, I haven't had much time to read. Well, however I'm done.. boring story"
I chuckle, relieved to have finished talking about me.

"It must not have been easy for you.."
San says, with a completely serious face.

"Oh it's fine now-"
"You will never be alone again"
His words make my heart do something.

I remember San once told me he wasn't used to having someone who cares about him, and now I realize that we are more alike than I thought..