Mind of His

49. Landslide

Harry POV

"I took my love, took it down
I climed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Till the landslide brought me down"

I cannot erase the past. He can't. No matter how hard he may try. He can't ignore history, and I can't forget. Nor do I ever want to, no matter how things end up.

We can't drink away our issues. We can fly away for a while on pills and clouds of smoke, but reality and the bittersweet rawness of life brings us crashing back down every time.

We may say spiteful things to each other or think things we shouldn't think. We may pretend to hate each other as much as we like, in the spotlight or when the dark turns to mist and we're together and alone.

"Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?"

He can see whom he chooses. I can see as many people as I choose. He can sleep with his woman every night and I can sleep with a different woman every night. He can get his lover pregnant and therefore devote his life to her and his family and push away everything and everyone else, including me, and all that comes with me.

Does he still think of me sometimes? Does he remember the many memories and the years we were together; those times that we didn't treasure enough, blissfully thinking they would never end? Does he ever think of me, when he's with her?

Because I think of him constantly, because maybe a piece of me belongs to him. Those times when we were together - the bites of time, the minutes, the hours, the days, weeks, and months of the summer that I spent obsessing over his brown skin and golden eyes in the end of June; they've imprinted upon my memory, transformed the way I am under his influence through his mystery of a character that I learned to unfold, and stolen a piece of me that he will not ever give back.

"Well I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too"

I didn't think things would end up this way, but then again, things haven't ended. I don't think it will ever end. As we grow older and continue to discover ourselves, this time being apart, we change. But we cannot change the past.

Those memories, those wild, wild memories; every precious moment I stole with you, I will cherish, no matter what changes.

"Well I've been afraid of changing
'Cuz I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too
Oh I'm getting older too"

I hope you know that I believe. I have hope, that we'll one day see through it all and come to an understanding that will satisfy, soothe, and bind us eternally.

I believe. I hope you learn to open up to me again. I know that time and the right words, along with our touch, will heal us.

"I take my love, take it down
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills,
Will the landslide bring you down?

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills,
Well, the landslide'll bring you down
Oh
The landslide will bring you down."

No matter what.

And we'll be alright.

We'll be a fine line.

We'll be alright.