Mind of His

13. Closer

Fiona

I sat in my apartment in a slight daze. Did I really just see Zayn's studio and hear him sing part of a new song for his album? I guess it just didn't sink in yet. I didn't know what to do next, so I started up my laptop, got myself a protein bar from my huge assortment of flavors, and popped open an orange San Pellegrino. I sat with my fingers hovering over the keys.

What should I be doing right now? I closed my eyes in thought.

And when I close my eyes I feel it all again...

With a sudden idea, I typed into the browser, "Harry Styles's album". A list of the songs in his album popped up. I realized I hadn't really listened to his whole album before. It was pretty new, so maybe that was why I only heard a few songs like Sign of the Times. I randomly clicked on From the Dining Room Table. I pressed to listen and read the lyrics ahead of what I was hearing.

My eyes grew wide.

"We haven't spoke since you went away,
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever be the first one to break?
Even my phone misses your call
By the way."

Interesting. Very interesting. Now why did that sound so much like Zayn? I thought about my relationship and time spent with Zayn. We didn't ever need to talk a lot; comfortable silence was what it was called.

"Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too..."

"Why won't you ever say what you wanna say?"

"Woke up the girl who looked just like you,
I almost said your name."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up," I said beneath my breath. This felt like opening a whole new door in this whole mystery. I typed into the search engine, "Who has Harry Styles dated?"

Obviously, I found Taylor Swift, which was the most popular girlfriend of his and soooo much drama tied to that, so I decided not to get into it. Kendall Jenner...

KENDALL. JENNER.

I quickly looked up pictures of Kendall and it struck me. She and Zayn actually almost look like brother and sisters. The dark eyes with the long eyelashes, dark eyebrows, face shape... they were actually quite similar structurally and shared strikingly similar features.

Woke up the girl who looked just like you...

With another search, I realized that the timing of when they dated to the song's release made sense too. Oh my lord...

"So what does this all mean?" I asked myself, taking a nervous sip of my drink. I bit thoughtfully on my protein bar as my brain exploded with conspiracy theories and ideas. I really needed to have a talk with...

My phone rang. I sighed, a natural reaction to my phone ringing. I swiped up to answer and held the phone to my ear. "Hell-"

"Fiona!" a voice slurred.

Oh. My. God.

"Zayn? What's... what's up?"

"I can't live like this anymore, Fiona. I'm ready to spill everything. All the shitty details about my shitty life. I don't care anymore. I'll throw it all away."

My brain was spinning. "Wh-what? Zayn don't say that! What's wrong? Just tell me, don't tell anyone else just yet, okay?" I struggled to keep from stuttering and sounding like an idiot. "Are you... drunk?" I already knew the answer to that question: No. He was wasted.

"I can't live like this!" he drawled. "I need... something... anything... nothing will do. NOTHING!"

"Just hold on Zayn," I said, and with a sudden urge, "I'm coming over okay? Are you alone right now?"