Mind of His

7. Broken Walls

Friday.

I had been so nervous for this day all week. First of all, there was, oh you know, just the possibility that I might get fired from my job today, and just a dinner with my idol, famous celebrity Zayn Malik. That morning I woke up hours before my alarm even though I had been so tired the night before. It must have been nerves. I showered and changed quickly then jumped on my laptop, though there wasn't anything else I could do about the missing document. I had searched absolutely everywhere, talked to so many people (who still wouldn't tell me anything more than what Nathan had secretly told me), and I was at a loss of ideas.

I threw my head back against the couch and sighed, exasperated. Slowly, a replay of the events of Monday began to invade my thoughts. I had thought back on everything I did while I was sorting the papers countless times, but I didn't think about the whole day.

Getting ready. Putting on my glasses while walking out the door. Meeting Zayn at the coffee shop after I dropped my binder.

My eyes popped open. With a little spark of an idea, I grabbed my binder and searched through it until I found what I wanted. It was a list of all the things extra that I had done for Mrs. Holt. I was grateful I had made it, because I had a feeling I just might need it today. I looked through the list. Answering emails, forwarding documents to other people, making over fifty different photocopies of important documents... Something was weird about this. It was like I was almost seeing a pattern. All of these things were certainly not my job, but some of these actions weren't really necessary for Mrs. Holt's job either. I had made a lot of photocopies of documents for her, which never seemed to get to anyone else but her. Was that supposed be something she had?

I went back to the playthrough of the day through my head. Getting coffee with Zayn at the coffee shop, walking to work, doing my normal desk work of web design and marketing. Lunch break inside the cafe downstairs. Mrs. Holt calling my desk phone to ask me to sort the papers. Faxing documents to Richard. Nathan giving me the cart, nervous as always.

Did Nathan know more than he let on?

People leaving, Mrs. Holt leaving me. Then I remembered something important.

She had given me the key to Richard's office.

Uh oh.

*******

Zayn

I jumped. Why can't I stop thinking about it? I looked out my apartment window to the city.

So far away.

I looked at my phone.

But still, right here. Always beside me, no matter what.

He wasn't kidding. It was comforting at times, but at others, hurtful.

Why so much guilt?

If it only wasn't for the dreams, maybe I could forget. But these memories and feelings kept me up at nights. And there was nothing I could do about it anymore.

Right?

I picked up my pen again and started writing.

*******

(Third person POV)
7:00 P.M.
Toly Plaza

Zayn's thoughts led him right outside. He didn't even bring his cigarettes. Just his phone, which also had his money. The moon looked full, and there were only a few clouds in the sky surrounding it, glowing with its light. The streetlights cast unfamiliar shadows tonight. The darkness always seems darker when there is light.

Fiona was sitting on a bench, tears in her eyes. She was fighting so hard to keep them in, her face up to the light of the moon. She didn't even hear Zayn walking on the pebbles towards her, and Zayn didn't even see her as his thoughts spiraled to dark, familiar places, far away in a different time. Revisiting those places, feelings, people... it was like reopening an old scab. Painful, urksome, but all too familiar.