Mind of His

17. Worry

Harry POV

What did I do wrong?

I put on my sunglasses and headed out the door, not caring the slightest about my appearance. Yes, my hair was a little greasy. I had other things on my mind.

I headed immediately out the back door and to the van, just as my phone buzzed. My heart a skipped a beat though I tried to remain stone faced. There was only one person I knew who was really good at that. I opened my phone, hoping Zayn had replied to my text. It was only Mark.

Tell Z and lads 2 be at tech rehearsal by 4

I frowned. Why was Zayn not part of 'the lads' now? Just because he's been... distant... doesn't mean he's not still part of the group. I felt a prick of annoyance as I climbed into the van. Nevertheless, I sent a quick text into the group chat: "Be there by 4." and shut off my phone, staring out of the tinted windows glumly.

I'd had a new resolution. If Zayn could be all rogue-like, so could I. Stay at a different hotel. Take a separate car.

I still had an hour until tech rehearsal onstage, so I was headed to a cafe to get a drink of some sort. I hadn't been hungry lately. Especially seeing how Zayn never ate anything. It was like cigarettes was his fuel. And drugs. I wasn't sure if he knew or not that he was showing some signs of health issues, shall I say. I can see his bones sticking out sharply and it makes me worried.

Worried sick, in fact.

But the problem is, I just can't seem to talk to him about it. The moment is never right and the words never come out and he's now always gone.

My thoughts plunged into the story of when things started to go wrong. It seems that whenever something gets really good, there has to be something bad coming next. Nothing lasts for ever, as my mum used to like to remind me.

I thought everything was going right. Then when we started working in the new album, Zayn started becoming a little more rogue. Working with Naughty Boy was a start perhaps. I still remember the light in his eyes when he talked about the songs he was making. He was so excited, so proud, so...

Happy.

So different then how he is now. But when every single one of his songs were rejected from the album, the Zayn I took for granted closed up like a shell, and the mother of pearl that I had just started to learn of inside was covered and tucked away. He had put up his barrier that had taken so long to break down. The fire in his gold eyes smothered out.

I think I showed disappointment more than he did. He is good at hiding his feelings, and now I have no choice but to try to learn from him.

Then he started drifting away. From the band, from everyone, and from me. I got over feeling hurt about it; you can't be the mopey one when you're also the bright, charming one.

But now I'm stuck wondering where I went wrong.

And he's never around to tell me. I never ask him where he's been. I can't think straight anymore. I can be such a fool for someone who doesn't feel the same back.