Reality of Darkness

Chapter 13

"I am."

I'm at a complete loss of where this has all came from, and I summarise that with a lockdown hangover, as well as the reviewing, it has gotten a little too much for him to handle.

"Babe, you're exhausted." I tell him. "You worked late with reviewing and then you tried to pull an all nighter in bed."

He pushes his hands through his hair in stress. "You don't get it..."

"Then tell me." I push.

"I need you. I have a constant need to be close with you because there is this idea, that one day you won't be here, and it is taunting me. It's constantly gnawing at my soul and it scares me. I want to be with you, all the time, Elle."

"Zak.." I breathe softly taking his large hand into both of mine. "I am not going anywhere."

"You can't promise me that. But someone else, they might. Which is why I've got this appointment. I've invaded your privacy and sent over pages from your seizure log.."

I try not to let that piece of information annoy me, because right now, there was bigger things to be concerned about. "And?"

"And they want to have an appointment to discuss your epilepsy." He says. "They are the best of the best."

"I can't afford-"

"I am paying." He interrupts.

I rub my forehead "I can't ask you to pay for-"

"Well tough. Because I am and you didn't ask. But please, for me.." He says squeezing my fingers.

Seeing the pure desperation in his eyes, I nod. "Yeah. Okay. Okay, we will go."

Relief floods his face and he pulls me against his body, hugging me tightly. It's only as I hold him that I realise how much he has changed since finding out. How he tries to climb in the shower with me, makes me food unexpectedly, wants to make love at any and every opportunity, how he spends his time, lurking within the house, watching me and the impromptu photos that he keeps taking on his phone.

It all makes sense.. He is committing it all to memory, he is preparing himself for the worst.

"You'll take me into the grave with you, if you left me." He whispers into my hair.

My eyes water at his soft heart and love. "You're a fool. I'm not going anywhere. So stop all this worrying. You're gonna make me cry."

He pulls back as a tear escapes from the corner of my eye, his thumb swipes it away. "Are you mad at me?"

"No." I tell him. "Not at all. But I wish you would have told me sooner. This is a heavy burden on you. It is stress that you don't need."

"You are never a burden."

I smile gently at him. "So, when is this appointment?"

"At 3pm."

"Today?" I ask surprised.

"I took the next available appointment. I thought you would want to know as soon as possible."

Or he wanted to know as soon as possible.

"Good thinking." I answer, patting his arm. "Did they say what I need to bring to the appointment?"

Zak nods. "Any recent scans, the seizure log, medication and medical notes."

Standing up, I hold out my hand. "Come on, you can help me prepare."

His hand slides into mine and we head to the wardrobe, where I've kept all my paperwork since moving in.