My Only One

CH 22

Maybe at least he thought God did have mercy on him. At some point, fate actually brought that person to him. He never asked for a knight in shining armour nor a prince charming or even an angel for all he ever wanted and wished to have was someone who can return his love back. That someone who will love him with no limitations, with no boundaries. He thought maybe he was finally going to have that certain someone but his badluck was never going to live him alone. It came all the way and it was going to end with him. It was like a black hole who was pulling him inside everytime he took a step ahead. That Black hole pulled everyone yet he wished it wouldn't take away this certain person who he had come to love more than anyone, more than anything even more than himself.

Was Fate ever on his side?

No, It was never and it would ever. That Person just like everyone left him, betrayed him, broke him like everyone did. The last ounce of hope that he still kept holding onto was getting yanked away, dragged away. At that time all he could feel was the undying emptiness. Not the emptiness in his surroundings but the emptiness in his heart which was killing him everyday slowly until he couldn't even feel the pain anymore.

And when all the days, nights, weeks, months, years....he spend drowning in his own pool of misery and reminding himself about his dark faith, the person that left him, or you could say the one Sehun pushed away was back. Sehun doesn't have anything to say or ask that person. He wasn't going to ask  'Why was he here?' 'What is is doing now?' or 'How is he?' either. He doesn't want to reopen any old scars. He was just gonna see him and observe from afar. At least that was going to lessen his pain yet Sehun was ready to embrace it all. Who was he kidding? He knows, he doesn't want to push that person away, he so badly wished that person would pull him in his arms and even if it's for just a short time Sehun wants that person to hold him, to reassure him, to give him the little happiness. But it would feel like a dream. He knows that it would never be the same again.

There was a reason that everything happened two years ago. Sehun hoped and wished to bury it all and move on. Yet again his heart betrayed him. How could he just bury those feelings? For him they were like Oxygen. HE was his Life source.

When after years Suho finally told him everything Sehun felt lost. He wished that maybe just maybe he could turn the time and go back in time. But Sehun learned it the hard way. He was not a fifteen year anymore, you can't change the past anymore. If they separated that easily how will they even survive in future? Will he have to lose his love again? or will again his love will give up on him? Or again someone was going to get in between them. How many more sacrifices Sehun has to give to get his Love Back?

All the unspoken thoughts were eating his brains out. He was waiting for it to finally stop, his heart which was heavy. When would it give up? The little thread, when will it finally break? As he thought of everything, he heard the sound of his weak heart beat growing weaker, humming in approval. Sehun wants to smile, at least for once something was going as he wanted.

Yet, this time he wanted it to halt for a second. The feeling of finally giving up has to wait. Wait for him to deliver something for the last time.

He felt so weak that every cell in his body was protesting yet this time it has to go by his way. It has to listen to him. One last time, is all he was asking for.

Struggling to get a hold of himself he crawled weakly not minding the red blood splattering over the floor. He just want to reach out for one last time. His slow breathing and faint thudding of heart was his source of finally moving.

His weak senses could hear voices, but everything else seem to zoom out like it was rolling like a film. Clutching onto the stair case he, with all his might tried to stood up, his legs shaking as if he would collapse if not for the support. The blood dripped at every stair but his whole attention was fixed on the person who was blur as well. He couldn't tell what expression that person was making but he could only trace the blurred figure.