Hold Me | Sebastian X Reader | Black Butler Fanfiction

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Sebastian's POV

The service was coming to an end, finally. Sebastian was getting bored out of his mind. Not to mention the church made him feel uneasy, for obvious reasons.

People began leaving and the demon got ready to offer Y/N her coat before heading outside, but stopped halfway through his action once seeing her expression. Her gaze was lost somewhere up front, where the body of a young man lay still in an open coffin.

Without saying a word, Y/N got up and made her way towards him. People were expressing their condolences as she passed them, but the Phantomhive payed them no attention.

Sebastian trailed behind her.

She stopped before the coffin, caressing the person inside with her gaze. The butler stood at her side, contemplating how much space he should give her. Human emotions were still strangers to him, so he guessed the best he could.

They stood like that for a little while, in silence.

All the guests had long left the church when the priest came up to them. He said it was time for the coffin to be taken away and that they should say their final goodbyes. Y/N answered him with a simple nod, but remained as she was.

Another little while passed. They watched as the polished lid hid Alexander's face from view for the last time, and staff members carried the coffin away.

And then it was just the two of them.

The overwhelming silence of the room rang in Sebastian's ears.

He suddenly noticed that Y/N's hands were trembling. And not only her hands, her whole body was shaking.

Should he do something about it? Or should he just wait for orders?

He was about to speak when Y/N suddenly turned to face him. She seemed spaced out, looking somewhere beyond him.

Slowly, she bowed down her head and leaned in to rest her weight against Sebastian's chest, hiding her face in his vest.

He was slightly taken aback, as she would never approach him first. He'd always be the one teasing her by invading her personal space, but most of the time Y/N would try to keep her distance with him. This was very unexpected of her.

A small sob escaped the girl. Was she crying? Is that why she was trying to hide her face away?

Now that there was no one to watch, her walls must have finally broken down.

So helpless.

Sebastian smiled.

Did she trust him enough to show her vulnerable self to him?

No. This wasn't trust, he realized. He was her servant and she had the right to use him however she pleased. Whether it was as a soldier or as a shoulder to cry on.

But he was happy to even mean that much to her, if it meant being close.

Sebastian brought both his arms around Y/N and gently pulled her into a tight hug, and this time, she didn't push him away or get mad at him. She only buried her face deeper into his clothes.

The girl was so small and warm, and her body trembled against his. Sebastian felt her wrap her arms around his back, returning the hug. She clutched his clothes in her shaking fists, bringing him in closer. He couldn't tell which one of them needed this more. If only he could stay like this with her forever - so close that he could feel her heartbeat on his skin.

Sebastian bit his tongue to keep his thoughts from wondering to places they shouldn't.

Y/N was sobbing uncontrollably. Her warm tears soaked through the fabric of his clothes.

"Shhh," he patted her hair, "deep breaths, deep breaths."

She did just that, taking one shattered breath after another. Sebastian kept stroking her head with his hand. He brought some of the fallen locks of hair behind her ears.

"Let's go home," she murmured against him after having calmed down a little.

She pulled away from their embrace. Makeup leaked down her flushed cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy and her long, wet eyelashes clung together.

She looked anywhere but at him, as he helped her into her coat.

Embarrassed?

Sebastian smiled and followed her to the carriage already waiting for them at the entrance.

Their ride to the manor was completely silent. Y/N didn't utter a single word and always kept her eyes on the floor.

Sebastian took the opportunity to study her features. The delicate curves and angles of her face, she shape of her lips, her nose. Y/N was truly beautiful, even when crying.

Her hands were interlaced on her lap and she played with the delicate white diamond ring - the engagement ring. She stroke it gently, always staring off into the distance.

There was no point in mourning the dead. They were gone from this world, that's it that's all. The sooner she'd realize it, the faster would the pain go away.

Sebastian sighed.

People were such delicate creatures. He'd witnessed countless souls get eaten away by emotions after living through the loss of a close someone.

But the Phantomhive girl was different.

Surely she was broken now, but she'd find a way to rebuild herself and find her step. She did it once before, she could do it again. Her soul was a strong and a pure one, otherwise why would he crave it so badly?

Y/N's POV

During the ride to the Phantomhive estate, thoughts of Alexander drowned out any others, yet the whole time, out of the corner of my mind, I could feel the demon's burning eyes on me.

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