Under The Influence

In Your Heart

"Yeah, let me check my phone first."

"Why do you need to check your phone?" I ask

"The same reason you have yours now."

I drop my phone on the floor, on the side of the bathtub, "Babe, take off your clothes and get in." I demand.

"Aight." He takes off his boxers and get in the bathtub, he sits in front of me.

"You're so annoying." I laugh as he lays back on me and I wrap my arms around him. "So babe...."

"Uh-oh." He laughs, "What up baby?"

"I was thinking about therapy...."

He cuts me off, "Nah, babe. I don't wanna go back."

"But I really think it'll be good for you. She can really help you. You're drug free, this is the perfect time. You have a clear head."

"If I go with you, maybe, but by myself, hell Nah." He says and I'm okay with this. I think I have to take what I can get. Maybe after he sees how good everything is going with us going to hurt together, he will wanna go by himself eventually.

"Okay. I'll accept that."

We fall silent for a few minutes, he was running his fingers up and down my leg, and I was just enjoying the silence. We don't get this often, it was very relaxing.

"You wanna talk about the baby?" Chris asks nervously.

We haven't talked about it since that day we argued about it. I don't want to talk about it. I just take the test, and hope for the best, meaning it's a negative test.

"I don't think I'm pregnant. I've been taking the tests and they've been negative."

"Oh."

"Are you upset?" I ask

"A little. I want to start a family with you. I want to get married to you one day and just be happy. The timing wasn't right, but I was fully prepared after this tour to chill out for a while."

"Me too." I kiss his neck, "But for us to get there, we need to be healthy mentally, and therapy is a start."

"I'm just not ready to open up about my past, my childhood wasn't the best. I have some issues babe." He says

"I know, but that's what it's there for, to help you cope with that, move on and become a better person. You have to free your mind, get it out."

"I'll think more about it but I can't make any guarantees." He says

"Okay. Is there anything you want me to do?" I ask

"Yeah, you can hop on my dick for a while."

"Baby my hips hurt. You want me to ride you like a fucking horse for hours, every couple of hours. I'm tired." I laugh

"Hm. Okay."

"What does that mean?" I ask. That felt kind of negative.

"Nothing. So when we get out, you gonna bend over?" I don't want to but I know if I don't he's probably going to get mad, which can lead to him cheating.

"Of course. Whatever you want babe." I say

We didn't make it to the bed, we had sex in the bathtub. When we were done, we got dressed for the day.

I was in the bathroom putting my hair up into a ponytail and I felt a wave of nausea come over me. I put my hands down on a vanity and lean onto it a little bit trying to grasp the concept, this feels like morning sickness. I stand there for a few seconds trying to get an overall feel of what's going on right now.