Under The Influence

Trust Me

Shawnie's POV

It's been a couple of weeks since that visit to Toronto. I told Chris everything that happened from beginning to end, even about the kiss. I didn't want there to be any bullshit that came out, or Aubrey to lie to Chris about anything. I wanted no room for bullshit, as Chris said.

My time away from Chris has still been hard, but I'm still trying to push through this. I don't have a choice. He's where he needs to be and his mom is here now and I love it. Overall, I feel I'm happier. I have someone here and to talk to all the time. My family is here but not 24/7 like I need. Truth is, it's impossible for them to be here how I want them to be. They have jobs and families too. I'm grateful Chris mom postponed things she had to do just to be here with me. She has been here for the last couple of weeks, and I appreciate it so much.

Chris is okay. He's still very adamant that something is going on with Dr. Jordan. I haven't talked to him and he hasn't called. Chris has been having sessions with Dr. Foxx and he's somewhat okay with that. He still wants to quit the program. He's trying to find any and every reason to quit but his mom and I keep reminding him that he only has a couple of weeks left, so he stays. Let's hope this continues.

Chris POV

I woke up super irritated today for some reason. I don't know what's going on, my energy is just way off today. I feel I got some crazy shit going on behind my back I don't know who it's with but I feel like I need to watch myself. I'm already on edge because I feel like the doctors that I have are against me and I really don't want to finish this program but Shawnie and my mother keeps telling me to just tough it out and try to make it to the end. This shit is super hard man.

After I meditated and tried to calm my thoughts, I had to go to therapy. To be honest, I've had something weighing heavily on my mind for the past few months. Shawnie and I have been through a lot and honestly this doesn't have anything to do with her. This is something that I've been dealing with on my own. Shawnie knows nothing about it. I'm the only one who knows what's going on. We'll, me and one other person, but this has really been weighing me down. I feel like it's time for me to come clean about this but I know that everything that I have worked for will be in jeopardy.

I've been wanting to talk to my therapist about this but something just seems off to me with them. I don't necessarily feel negative vibes coming from Dr. Foxx but it just seems off. Dr. Jordan and I clearly will never be anything and I'll probably always wanna beat his ass because I feel like he wants my girlfriend. Doing therapy sessions with Dr. Foxx seems to be going well. I don't feel that Dr. Fox and I have the same connection as Dr. Jordan and I did and I don't feel like he understands me as well as Dr. Jordan did but things seems to be going smoothly. Although the whole Dr. Jordan thing was probably just an act, I really did feel like I was getting somewhere with him but clearly that was bullshit.

Anyway, I went to my session and took a seat on the sofa. I waited for Dr. Fox for about 10 minutes and he came in and he just seemed irritated himself. Maybe that's just the vibe today, everybody's just irritated and annoyed with life.

"Good morning Chris, how did you sleep?" Dr. Foxx asks taking a seat at his desk.

"I slept alright. I just feel like things are a little off today but other than that I think I'm doing pretty well."

"That's good. I woke up this morning to some crazy news but I'm doing pretty well myself." He says, seemingly searching for something on his desk.

"Cool." I say. I just continue watching him look for whatever he's looking for.

"So what do you want to talk about today? Do you want to pick up where we left off yesterday, or do you want to start with something else?" He asks. I don't think he's ever asked me that before. Normally, we just pick up where we left off from the day before.