As Warm As Fire (Dangerous Strangers Book 2)

Chapter 36

I last saw Mr. Rodriguez on that ship. After that day, no one knows where he went and it had been a week since we came back. As the wedding arrangements going on, I saw lots of unhappy faces around here, but mine was predominant among them. 

Mr. Rodriguez made everyone believe it was he who broke the engagement because he fall out of love with me. Not because his friend somehow wanted to marry the girl he loves.

Yes, I know he loves me. He shows it in all his gesture. No matter if he say those words through his mouth. He is that, shy and... I looked at the mirror as they dressed me up in white. My wedding gowns. I was supposed to be the happiest person for this day. But I am the one who is missing the smile. Because I do not want this wedding. I never wanted to get married in first place.

But it was not meant to be, is it? My father looked at me and smiled. I smiled back. "You look pretty, but I wish your smile was pretty too Kathrine." I don't want to go through this. I don't want to go through this wedding. Father, I want to marry Christin, not James. I love him and he misunderstood me. I never wanted anything but to be with you after mom died. I also prevented Emilia's scheming ways. Because I wanted to save you.

And now I just have another wish, to be with one I love. But now, I cannot. All I wish is for him to come back to me. "don't marry him, you don't have to Kathy dear, you can always say no." What is the point? He left me there without letting me explain. No one knows where he is. And I am constantly worrying for his well-being. Where could he be? My eyes welled up. I never cried through all those hardships life had put me through but this one? This one proven to be fatal.

My heart aches for him. Not just my heart but my soul too. It weeps, without him. I don't want anything else but him. My Christin, My Love, my first in everything. I removed the gown carefully placing it down. "I think it is perfect" The seamstress said, I didn't even choose the wedding gown. What is the point? I don't see anything beyond darkness in my life. I don't know if there would be anything else ahead. It seems so hopeless.

I was sitting on to the desk thinking about writing a letter and running away. Maybe I can find him and force him to listen to me. Maybe I can just... My eyes welled up again and I felt tears dropping on to the paper. Oh mother, why aren't you here with me. You will always had told me to be brave, but what now? The honor of the family rest on this marriage happening. I cannot let my father down, but my heart, my heart weeps for the one I love.

I have fallen in love with a man whose heart is cold and dark place but I had a little home there, little place where I have felt safe. His arms held me through the night and he had shown me the wonders of the world. Now he is not here with me. I want him here with me. Please mother so me a way, something that I can do. Something I can do...

Someone knocked at my door and I told them to come in wiping my eyes. It was sister Dana. "Dana, it is late you should sleep and..." She hugged me. "Oh Katherine, I am so sorry I should have told you this before but I am sorry, I didn't mean to do this to you. I didn't mean to..." "What is it Dana, come let's sit over there and talk." I said. She nodded holding my hand as she walked with me.

She looked at the wedding gown. "That one is beautiful, tomorrow you will look radiant." She said holding my hand. But I will not feel the same Dana. I will not feel the same. Because he is not the one, I should be with. He is not the one I shall spend rest my life with. I held her and cried. I never did that. "Dana, I don't want to get married to James. I don't want to, for I love only Christin. He... he is hard headed, he never listens to me and always assumes things, but still though, he kept me safe on the expense of his own life many times. I cannot see him with anyone else... I..."

I sobbed hard holding her. "Katherine tell me did something happened between you two during the expedition?" I remembered the night when he almost died in my arms, when he bared himself to me and I did the same to him and then we loved each other to our hearts desire. Him and me, and nothing else mattered. Nothing, just the two of us.